Chapter 66: You Suck At Love

 

Nicki

I held my breath and waited for him to respond. He still looked frozen and I grew scared. “You’re telling me that you were pregnant six years ago and it was mine?” He looked at me and I nodded slowly. “You aborted our child?” He asked slowly but his voice was filled with anger.

“It was a mistake,” I quickly said.

“It’s a mistake that you can never take back Onika!” He snapped. I knew that he would be mad so I shouldn’t be that surprised. “You were that damn selfish? You killed our child because you were fucking mad at me!?” His voice kept rising.

“I’m sorry Aubrey,” I cried. That was the only thing I could say.

“Naw, I was wrong. You would make a horrible mother,” he shook his head and stormed out of the house. I knew that he was probably going by Mere. I cried and I couldn’t stop crying. I knew I fucked up.

Blake

“I’ll go and find something to do,” Jessi went upstairs. Nae stood in front of me with her arms crossed.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked in a small voice. She eyed my demeanor and dropped her arms.

“Not mad, just exhausted,” she shrugged.

“I know, I make shit so complicated,” I nodded.

“Who told you that I said that?” She scrunched up her face.

“Who else? Jessi tells me a lot of things,” I pointed out. She nodded and leaned against the wall.

“So I’m guessing she told you that I broke up with him?” She raised a brow and I nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Why are you here Blake?” She bluntly questioned me.

“Because I wanted to apologize and admit some things,” I tried to figure out how to say this.

“Well?”

“Mere and I aren’t together and we haven’t been for months,” I confessed.

“Figured something like that,” she seemed unfazed.

“Wait what?” I scrunched up my face.

“You kissed me on two occasions and you never had that guilty look on your face. I told you that I know you Blake,” she looked at me.

“You do know me,” I sighed.

“Why’d you do it?”

“Why did I do what?” I looked at her a little confused.

“If y’all haven’t been together for months then why did you play with me? You’ve been playing mind games since the reunion,” she pointed out. I looked down and couldn’t bring myself to look in her eyes.

“I guess in some ways I wanted to make you feel how I felt all those years ago,” I sighed. I didn’t want to admit that but it was true.

“That’s the only reason why I didn’t say anything,” she said. I started to say something but she held her hand up. “I was trying to figure out why you were doing this and in some ways I felt like I deserved this. I’ve put you through so much shit. I should be lucky that you’re even talking to me,” she focused her eyes on the ground.

“Nae,” I called out but it seemed like she was stuck in her head. I walked up to her and moved her chin so she would lock her eyes with me. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to. I thought you realized that I forgave you a long time ago. Why else would I help you with your family? No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop loving you. I tried and tried again but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop loving you.” She closed her eyes and I noticed tears slowly running down her face.

“I was a whole different person back then and if you didn’t help me then I don’t know where I would be. You never realized how much you’ve changed my life. And for you to do that after all the shit I put you through, it really meant a lot to me. When you moved to New York, I wasn’t the same Nae you met out in Cali. I let drugs change me and I’m still so sorry. I should have never gotten with you knowing good and well that it would only end badly,” she moved my hand and tried to walk away but I grabbed her arm to keep her put.

“That was the past and I told you that I’m over it. I’ve forgiven you but I don’t think you’ve forgiven yourself. Even though all of that happened, I don’t regret dating you. I can never regret dating you.” She still had this look on her face and I sighed. “Jaznae, I love you and I want you back. Just leave the past in the past and let us just start fresh,” I pleaded.

“Okay,” she said softly.

“So does that mean that we’re back together?” I bit my bottom lip nervously.

“If you want to give us another try then we can. Just know that it’ll be completely different from last time and-,” I cut her off with my lips. I pulled back slightly and smirked.

“Do you ever shut up?” I looked at her and she chuckled. She pulled me closer and kissed me back.

 

Mere

“Ha ha stop,” I laughed and pushed Antonio away. He sat back and looked at me for a second. “What?” I scrunched up my eyebrows.

“It’s just nice to have you around again. I’ve missed you so much Mere,” he pulled me close.

“I’ve missed you too,” I pecked his lips. I heard banging at my door and groaned.

“Who comes to your house banging like that?” Antonio asked once I got up.

“Only the boys when something bad happened,” I opened the door and Aubrey stormed in. I gave Antonio a look and he got up.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow,” he kissed me and left.

“What happened?” I asked as soon as I closed the door. He was pacing in the living room so I knew it was something big.

“She thinks she had the right to do that without my opinion!” He mumbled angrily to himself.

“Who thinks?” I stood there confused.

“She aborted my child!” He snapped.

“Nicki had an abortion?” I tried to wrap my head around it.

“She thought she had the right to do that!”  

“Okay first off, stop yelling in my damn house. I know you’re pissed but I’m not the one you’re mad at so calm your ass down and tell me what happened,” I quickly put him in check. He sighed and sat on the couch. I went and sat next to him.

“She was pregnant six years ago and she went off to Paris. She said she was an emotional wreck and I guess she didn’t wanna be carrying my baby,” he shook his head.

“Aubrey,” I sighed. There’s a lot of shit that happened in his past that only Shad and I know. I knew that this was triggering it.

“Why does this always happen to me!?” He looked like he was trying to fight his tears.

“Come here,” I opened my arms and pulled him to me. I held him for a few seconds before I felt my shirt getting wet. “It’s gonna be okay,” I rubbed his back.

“Why does this constantly happen? No one wants to keep my child,” he cried. For the first time ever, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to him.

Nicki

I waited for Daven to come and get me. I couldn’t stay in this house. I just had to get away from him for a while. I didn’t want my girls in this so I called Daven. No one would think that I was with him. He had a second home here so it just made sense. I was lucky that he didn’t leave for Paris again. I know Aubrey’s mad but he said some hurtful things. I heard a knock and quickly opened it. “Hey, you got some things?” He looked at me. I nodded and handed him my bag. “What about Mylan?”

“Um, you can put the stuff in your car. I’ll tell her,” I heard Mylan get back in about thirty minutes ago. I went to her room and knocked on the door.

“Hey mom!” She smiled at me but it quickly fell. “Have you been crying?” She scrunched up her face.

“I need to get away for a couple of days,” I told her.

“What happened?”

“Some things are better left unsaid Mylan. I’ll be back but I just can’t stay here,” I tried to hold myself together but some tears escaped. She hopped up and hugged me.

“I wanna come with you,” she mumbled.

“I don’t think that’s the best idea,” I sighed.

“Mom, I wanna come with you,” she pleaded. I had a hard time saying no to her when it came to stuff like this.

“You should stay with your father,” I tried to convince her.

“I don’t want you alone. Please let me come with you. I promise that I won’t ask any questions,” she looked up at me.

“Go pack a bag for a couple of days,” I gave in. She hurried up and we went to Daven’s car.

“Uncle Daven!” Mylan went to hug him.

“Hey sweetheart,” he kissed her head and we all got in the car. We went to his house and he led us to the guest rooms. I showered and changed before meeting him in the living room. I sat next to him and I knew that he was waiting for me to talk.

“He hates me,” I choked up.

“Why would he hate you? You two just got back together,” he looked at me confused.

“I had an abortion six years ago. Go ahead and judge me,” I sighed.

“I ain’t gonna judge you. You probably had your reasons but I do see his side too. You can’t make decisions like that out of spite but you can’t change the past,” he nodded slowly.

“I just wish that I could go back in time and changed my mind,” I knew that I could never take this back.

“You can stay here for as long as you need to,” he offered.

“Where’s Gabriella?” I scrunched up my face.

“I don’t know, we broke up,” he shrugged.

“And why exactly did you break up?” I smirked at him.

“Aye, we’re supposed to be focused on you,” he tried to change the subject.

“You want Jaymie back,” I said and he chuckled.

“Yeah I do, I love that girl. I got a lot of making up to do but she agreed to meet up with me on Saturday,” he smiled.

“I’m happy for you, at least one of us are getting it right,” I let out a sad smile.

“He just needs some time to cool off Onika,” he assured me.

“I hope you’re right.”

Drake

“I told you that I don’t wanna go back there,” I told Mere as she pulled up to my house.

“And I told you that she’s not here,” she assured me.

“How do you know that?” I scrunched up my face.

“Blake, she was supposed to meet up with Nicki for something but she wasn’t here,” she turned off the car and we walked inside. “Doesn’t look like Mylan’s here either,” she looked around.

“So she killed my kid and she takes my other one?” I shook my head in anger.

“Just call your daughter,” she huffed. I pulled out my phone and called Mylan. It rang for a minute but she picked up.

“Hey Dad,” she sighed.

“Hey baby girl,” I guess she found out.

“Mom won’t tell me what happened but she’s in tears. You don’t have to tell me anything either but I just wanna know if you’re okay,” she said.

“I’m holding up, it’s just complicated My,” I didn’t want her getting overly concerned about this.

“I know it’s complicated and that’s why I’m not asking what happened. I just hope that you guys can work through this. I love you two and you’re my parents. Y’all just got back together just to break up again,” she sounded hurt.

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen but I love you and I’m always gonna be here for you,” I promised.

“I love you too Dad,” she responded.

“I’ll call you later,” I said before we hung up.

“Do you know where she is?” Mere asked.

“Naw, I didn’t ask her. My main concern is Mylan,” I shrugged.

“I know that you’re concerned about Nicki,” she gave me a look.

“I don’t know how I feel about her right now. I never expected her to do this to me. I can’t move past this and you know that already,” I sat on the couch. She sat next to me and nodded.

“I do know that but Nicki and Lahel are two different people,” she tried to convince me.

“I honestly can’t see the difference between them,” I shook my head.

“Aubrey,” she started but I cut her off.

“Naw don’t try to make Nicki look like the victim here. Lahel did it for the exact reason Nicki did that,” I hated how I viewed Nicki now. I never forgave Lahel and I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive Nicki.

Mere

I sighed in relief when I saw that Aubrey was finally asleep. It took him a while but he finally tired himself out. I knew that I couldn’t leave him tonight and I already called Shad to come over. He said he’ll be here in an hour. I got a text on my phone and went down the stairs quietly so I didn’t wake him. I went outside and saw her leaning against her car. I walked over and sighed. “Did you figure out where Nicki is?” I asked.

“Yeah, she called me an hour ago. She’s staying with Daven for a couple days and then she said she’ll try to talk to him before going back to Paris,” she answered.

“She’s thinking about going back to Paris?” She nodded and that just made things harder. “Aubrey snapping at her was way beyond her. He had some past experiences that caused him to react the way he did,” I didn’t want Nicki to leave before Aubrey could snap out of it.

“Past experiences like what?” She scrunched up her face.

“Look, you can’t tell anyone this except for Nicki. This might actually make her stay. He dated a girl a while back when he was around eighteen. She was after Nebby but he fell for her. She got pregnant and had an abortion. She was mad at him so she killed their child. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him hate a female more than her. He’s being taken back to that place with Nicki. He tends to do that with a lot of things. It’s like he’s stuck in the past,” I said the last part more to myself. Maybe I should get him to go to therapy.

“This girl, what was her name?” She asked me uneasily.

“Lahel,” I saw her tense up. She grabbed her phone and pulled up a picture.

“Is this the same Lahel that you’re talking about?”

“Yeah, how do you have her picture?” I scrunched my face up. She looked like she was debating if she should say it or not. “Jaznae, how do you have her picture?” I asked again.

“She’s my cousin.” Well that could add to the fact why I don’t like her. I can’t stand Lahel and I can’t stand Jaznae. Of course they would be related. I looked at her one good time and it’s like some dots connected in my head.

“Your last name, is it Bonilla?” I raised a brow.

“Yeah, how did you know that?” She looked at me weirdly.

“I know you.”