Chapter 99 {Part 1}: My Heart I Surrender

Drake

“Hands where I can see them,” I called out. I heard Mylan huff as Ryan lifted his arm from around her.

“Really Dad?” She turned and looked at me.

“Come on Aubrey,” Nicki grabbed my hand and led me out of the living room.

“Aye, you keep an eye on them alright?” I looked down at Levi.

“You got it Daddy!” He nodded and watched them like a hawk.

“I need another sibling to distract him,” I heard Mylan mumble. Nicki led me upstairs and she plopped down on the bed.

“You promised to give her space,” she reminded me.

“Fine.” I felt like a five-year-old kid. I looked down on my phone and saw a text from Shad. “Aye I need to meet Shad at the office real quick. I’ll be back at an hour tops,” I promised her.

“You haven’t been in work mode for so long. You don’t need to feel pressured on time. Just don’t keep me waiting,” she gave me a look.

“I promise.” I pecked her lips before heading out. I got to the office in ten minutes and found my whole team in the conference room. “What’s so big that we had to meet today?” I looked at them.

“I know you said you were done with expansions but this is an opportunity that you can’t pass up,” John told me.

“Just give this some time to think about,” Shad said cautiously.

“I told you guys that I have too much on my plate to worry about another expansion. I almost lost my family over that shit,” I shook my head.

“Boss you should really hear John out,” Emmanuel called out.

“Whatever it is the answer is an automatic no,” I denied them.

“We just the clear to expand in Canada,” John said.

“Toronto exact,” Emmanuel correct.

“Your hometown,” Shad sighed.

“Damn,” I mumbled.

“So what do you wanna do?”

“We’re going through with the expansion. We ain’t passing this up.” I gave them the clear. I knew what I was getting myself into but this is a one in a lifetime experience for me. I’ll make it work somehow.

Mere

“You should hate me,” Blake said softly as we sat on my couch. Nae was right; I needed to settle this once and for all.

“I’m not a hateful person. If I was then best believe that I would hate you but I don’t,” I shrugged. I really should hate her for all of the shit she has done over the last year but I’m just exhausted. I’m tired of the games.

“I’m sorry for a lot of the shit I’ve done recently. I was just,” she paused to think of the right words.

“Jealous?” She nodded slowly. “Hurt?” She nodded again. “Emotional?”

“Yeah all of those honestly. It was a lot to take in you know? You and Nae being close,” she admitted.

“Apology accepted.”

“I also want to apologize about that night,” she started but I didn’t want to hear it.

“Stop Blakelynn,” I cut her off.

“I need to apologize for it Mere. I shouldn’t have used you like that,” she spoke but I wasn’t listening to a word she was saying. “I’m serious Mere I’m sorry and you didn’t deserve that,” she sighed.

“Blake I’m over so get over it.” I was trying to cut this conversation short.

“Why can’t we ever talk about it?” She crossed her arms.

“Because I don’t want to relive those memories. Just drop it Blakelynn.” I was so done with this conversation. I thought I could handle it but I can’t. There’s a reason I’ve avoided this conversation for a year.

“No Mere, I’ve been dropping this conversation this last year. It’s about time that we talk about it,” she refused to stop talking about it.

“You want to talk about that night!? Fine you played me. You fucking used me just because you were lonely! I’ve never been able to say no to you and you used that to your advantage. You fucked with my mind after that night. I was a fucking mess but you never felt like you did anything wrong until Nae yelled at you! I’m so sick of the mind games and bullshit you put me through! I can’t deal with any of that shit!” I snapped. She was absolutely driving me crazy but I guess that’s her specialty.

“I never meant to make you feel that way Mere. A lot went on that night and there’s so much that I’ve wanted to say to for the past year. I screwed up that night and brushed it off like it was nothing but I got that tattoo for a reason,” she locked her eyes with me.

“You wanna do something for me? Leave me alone Blakelynn. I’ll always be here for you as a friend but only as a friend. I’m done with all of that and I have so much more to worry about. I’m engaged and he’s been nothing but good to me for the past three years. You’ve done so much shit in the last year alone. This is the first and last time we’ll address that night. After today, it never happened,” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“You keep talking to me like I’m some fucking child! I can’t just listen to what you want me to listen to. I can’t forget that night and I refuse to. I get it that I’m the worst person in the world. I have to be a horrible person to screw you over. I’ve never been like this in my life and I’m so sorry Mere. You didn’t deserve anything that I’ve put you through. After everything I’ve put you through you still stay by my side and I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve you.

Nae was right. I hurt the only person who would never hurt me. I know that you would never hurt me and that makes me feel so much worse. I don’t expect you to forgive me for all that I’ve done to you because I can’t even forgive myself. I love you Mere and I love you enough to let you go. I can’t keep hurting you but I can’t stay friends with you. I just can’t handle it just like you couldn’t nine years ago. I’m sorry.” She hopped up and rushed out of my house. I sat there for a minute before my tears fell. This is exactly why I avoided this conversation.

Nicki

“Nic.” Aubrey rushed in the room and he looked excited. I was taken back to a year ago just from the look on his face. It brought up way too many flashbacks.

“What made you so happy?” I asked cautiously as I sat up in my bed.

“We just got a clear to expand the company in Canada. Do you know how cool it would be to have the company in the place where I was born?” He smiled widely but my smile went away completely. He’s expanding his company again? We just got back to normal and he wants to ruin that? “What’s wrong?” He scrunched his face up.

“You’re expanding your company again? You said that you were done with all of that,” I sighed. He promised that the other expansion was the last one.

“I’m not gonna be as busy as last time,” he promised.

“You said that the last time Aubrey and the time before that and the time before that. You always get into that work mode and I can’t take it,” I huffed. I can’t handle this all of again. I can’t deal with all of that stress.

“Nic this is more than the company. This is something personal that will make me feel accomplished. I’ve dreamt about expanding it in Canada for years. That’s the one dream that I’ve never achieved,” he tried to get me to understand.

“I get that Aubrey, I truly do but you have other priorities,” I shook my head.

“Nicki you’re over exaggerating. I’m not gonna be as busy as last time,” he kept assuring me but I didn’t want to listen to it. He’s said this every single time he expanded his company.

“You say that now,” I shook my head.

“Onika,” he tried but I got up and stopped caring.

“Whatever Aubrey.” I walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

Cassie

I heard footsteps and figured that it was the photographer. I just got my makeup done so I decided to just come into Asia’s dressing room since I was bored. She was another model for this shoot and I’ve known her for years. “Casandra,” I knew that voice like the back of my hand. I turned and saw Shad standing there.

“What are you doing here?” I got up and walked over to him. He looked at the makeup artist and Asia behind me and I turned. “I’ll be back.” I grabbed Shad’s hand and pulled him towards my dressing room. I got there and closed the door. “What are you doing here?” I repeated my question.

“You’re getting a divorce with Kyle,” he blurted out. I looked him a little shocked for a minute. How in the world did he know that? Then only one name came to my mind; Alexis.

“I’m already divorced,” I corrected him. I got it finalized a month ago.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why would I need to tell you Shad?” I crossed my arms.

“Because I love you,” he said. I was about to say something but he stopped me. “Just here me out Cass,” he pleaded.

“Alright,” I kept my eyes trained on him. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hearing him out.

“Every day has been torture for the last nine years without you. I fucked up back then and I fucked up three years ago. I keep fucking up with you and I’m just lost. The only thing I know that I’m good at is being a dad. I know it’s karma and I deserve this. I deserve this for the rest of my life because I hurt you. You were the last person I ever wanted to hurt. I just want to know if I have even a slight chance left. I’m sorry for hurting you and I know it’s unforgivable. I know I probably don’t have a chance but baby I love you and I can’t stop,” he said as tears swelled up in his eyes.

“That’s all you got? No roses or begging on your knees?” I joked with a small smile on my face. He let out a slight laugh and we just stared at each other for a minute. “I forgave you a long time ago Shad,” I said softly. I had to let go of the past to move on and that’s exactly what I did.

“Do I even have a chance? That’s all I wanna know Cass. If not then I promise to leave you alone and just be a father to our kids. I just need to know.” I looked at him long and hard before nodding slowly.

“Kyle and I got into a big fight and he walked out. He’s done with me and I’ve been done with him. He’s always been jealous of you and I don’t blame him. He wanted to kick you out of the kids’ lives permanently but I refused to let that happen,” I admitted.

“What does this mean?” He asked cautiously. I let out a sigh and shrugged.

“What do you want this to mean? I honestly don’t know what you want me to say.”  

“Say you still love me.” I saw him moving closer to me as I fixed my mouth to speak. “Just say that Cass and I’ll promise you the world. Just give me one last chance to prove it to you. I’ll do whatever I have to do. I’m not gonna stop until you’re my wife Casandra. You deserve that and so much more. Just say you love me and I’ll do whatever it takes,” he locked his eyes into my watering ones.

“You can really promise all of that?” I raised a brow. He let out a chuckle and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Just say it and I’ll show you. It was always supposed to end like this. You were always mine and I was always yours. If you don’t believe me then we have Brayden as proof,” he pointed out.

“I wasn’t that drunk,” I confessed.

“Neither was I,” he grinned.

“The world? Can you really promise me that?” I asked playfully.

“That and so much more baby.”

“I love you Shad. I’ve loved you for years and it won’t ever stop,” I told him. He let out a wide smile and I felt some of my tears fall.

“It won’t stop for me too Cassie,” he promised before kissing me.

Jaymie

I let out a sigh of relief when I heard the front door open. “Thanks for agreeing to watch him. Kolbie had to go deal with something with Nyra and there wasn’t anyone else,” I thanked Daven.

“Damn, no one else? He’s my son Jayms. I should’ve been the first person you called. You know I would watch him with no problem at all.” He looked a little hurt.

“I’m still getting used this whole situation. I promise you’ll be the first person I call next time,” I assured him. He looked me over and I guess he noticed my attire.

“You got a date or something?” He questioned half-joking but half-serious.

“Something like that. I have a business dinner,” I corrected him.

“And you’re going like that?” He looked me over again and then eyed me like I was crazy.

“What am I supposed to wear? A pantsuit?” I crossed my arms.

“My bad Jayms. I just, I-I,” he struggled to say what he really wanted to say.

“You just?” I trailed off.

“Nothing. Where’s Carson?” He dropped the subject.

“He’s in the back asleep. He should wake up in about an hour and he has his bottle in the fridge,” I informed him.

“Alright,” he nodded slowly with a look on his face.

“What’s with the face?” I raised a brow.

“It’s chill. You might wanna go before you’re late,” he shrugged.

“Alright. Call me if something happens,” I said before leaving.

~~~

I came back a couple of hours later and walked in on Daven knocked out on the couch with Carson on his chest. I let out a small smile at the image and took a picture. It was too cute and made me feel bad for keeping him out of his life. I lifted Carson off him and placed him in the bed. I walked back out and shook Daven slightly.

“Wake up,” I said softly. I huffed when I saw that he wasn’t moving an inch. I should’ve remembered that he was a heavy sleeper. I bent down to his level and moved my hand down his neck until I got to a certain spot. I pinched it and he shot up.

“What the hell!?” He looked around until he locked his eyes with me. I tried to contain my laughter but I cracked up.

“You wouldn’t wake up,” I laughed. He chuckled and shook his head.

“Same old Jaymie.”

“Same old Daven.” I felt a smile fighting its way onto my face.

“I know you wanna smile,” he grinned.

“Shut up.” I playfully pushed him before standing straight up.

“How’d you business dinner go?”

“Two hours talking to a guy who seemed more into himself than the project was torture,” I rolled my eyes. Those were the longest two hours of my life.

“Damn.” He had a smile on his face.

“I know you were jealous.” I gave him a knowing look.

“I ain’t even gonna lie,” he nodded.

“Well you shouldn’t be. The only guy I need in my life is Carson,” I said proudly.

“Just Carson?” He eyed me.

“For now.” I shot him another smile before going to take my heels off. I had enough for today.

Blake

“And that’s a wrap for today. Good job Blakelynn,” David smiled at me.

“Thank you,” I faked a smile back and went to get my stuff together. I went to my car and drove home after a long day at work. I walked in and went straight to my room, passing all three of my relatives without saying a word. I took a shower and wiped my makeup off before collapsing in my bed.

“What’s wrong with you?” I heard Paris come in. Couldn’t I be left alone for one night? Is that too much to ask?

“Just leave me alone and let me lay here,” I spoke without looking at her.

“Is this about the Mere thing?” I popped up and looked at her in shock.

“How do you know about that?” I questioned.

“Nae called Jessi talking about how she wanted to curse your ass out and some other things I’d rather not tell you,” she shrugged and sat next to me.

“Why would she be mad at me for doing that? I’m not gonna bother Mere anymore. Nae should be happy that I’m leaving Mere alone.” She never made any sense but it is what it is.

“Okay let’s go through this slowly Blakelynn. You said something and Mere feels some type of way. When she’s mad or emotional what does she do?” She waited for me to connect the dots. My face dropped when I figured it out.

“Is she drinking?” I hated when she drunk because of her emotions and she knew that. It’s dangerous and we all knew that yet she still did it.

“Yeah and Nae said Mere hasn’t uttered a word since your little conversation. Why would you stop being her friend just because you have feelings for her? You’ve been in love with her since y’all dated so what changed?” She looked at me waiting on my answer.

“I don’t deserve her as anything in my life. She’s been too good to me and I feel guilty. I just can’t take it and I don’t even know how I’m gonna get through this,” I sighed. Mere honestly means the world to me but I just felt too guilty.

“You might lose Mere as a friend anyway. Whether it’s by your terms or her bottle,” she pointed out.

“You don’t think she’s,” I trialed off.

“I don’t know Mere that well. She only let’s a handful of people in and all I can think of is you and Drake but you’re the one who started this mess so you’re gonna be the one to finish it.” She gave me a knowing look.

“I know.” I hopped up and grabbed my keys.

~~~

I used my key to her house and walked in. I was walking towards the balcony but I felt someone grab my arm and turn me around. “I should curse your ass out right now,” Nae glared at me.

“I didn’t know she would do this.” I truly didn’t think about her whole drinking thing. I thought this would help her but obviously it did the exact opposite. I guess I didn’t realize how much I meant to her. Once again, I was selfishly focusing on myself.

“It’s not just about you. Her mom just dropped the bomb about having stage 3 breast cancer and Antonio left. You just added onto all of that,” she explained.

“What do you mean Antonio left?”

“Mere hasn’t uttered a single word. All I know is that he left. I don’t care what you do but just get her to say something or I’ll truly kill your ass,” she threatened and then walked out to Vanessa’s car. She hopped in and Nessa pulled off. I didn’t know where they were going but it didn’t matter at this moment. Mere was my main focus. I went onto the balcony and Mere didn’t even look my way.

“Mere,” I called out. She stayed put almost like she was in a trance. I sat next to her and thought about what I was gonna say. “I can’t be just friends anymore. I just can’t and I thought that cutting off all connections between us would be best but obviously not. It’s like when you quit coaching the dance team and cut off all connections with me,” I tried to get her to understand. She slowly moved her head and looked at me with a slight glare.

“If I cut off all connection between us nine years ago then you wouldn’t be here,” she finally spoke.

“Yeah you really helped me out back then,” I nodded slowly.

“And I’m done.” She tried to get up but I grabbed her arm.

“But I’m not. You don’t have to help me but let me help you. I’m sorry about your mom. I know you’re scared and I don’t want you keeping that bottled in.” I pushed our problems aside and focused on hers. She tried to keep a straight face but tears flew down her cheeks.

“I can’t take losing both of my parents. I just can’t take it,” she cried. I moved and pulled her into my arms. I knew that if she lost both of her parents that would just kill her. Her mom might get on her nerves but at the end of the day that’s her mom.

“We’re gonna get through this. I don’t care what kind of drama is going on with us. I’m not letting that blind my position in your life. I’m here for you and I’m sorry that I tried to stop that. I’m always gonna be here for you,” I promised her.

Drake

Nicki opened the door and was shocked to see me standing in front of it. “I said whatever meaning that I don’t care what you do.” She tried to get around me but I kept her in place. We are not about to go through this yet again.

“We’re starting over and that means starting this off right. You are not allowed to run anymore. You always run when you’re scared,” I put her in her place. This was one of our biggest problems three years ago and I’m not allowing this to happen again.

“What do you expect me to do Aubrey? You’re working on yet another project. I can’t deal with all of this all over again. We already were bordering a divorce. I can’t handle that pain again,” she cried. I pulled her into my arms and let her cry.

“I’m not gonna put you through that pain again Onika,” I kissed her head. She never gave me time to explain. She automatically assumed that this was gonna be like the other times.

“How do I know that Aubrey?” She pulled away from me.

“I’m your husband and at the end of the day my family is my main priority. I’ve changed and this expansion isn’t gonna change me. I’ve already set up for things to be done differently. Most of my work will be done from home and I’ll only have to go into the office three times a week,” I explained.

“You’re serious?” She looked shocked.

“I’m dead serious and you need to start hearing me out before walking away. I will never ignore my family ever again. I’m not gonna make y’all feel like that again. I’ve changed and you have to let me prove that to you,” I promised her.

“I’ll learn to stop walking away. I should’ve let you explain yourself and trusted you. I love you Aubrey,” she looked up at me.

“I love you too.” I pulled her into a kiss. We’re starting this marriage over and that means that we have to change our old ways. We’re slowly learning to communicate and I could get used to this. I just needed to get through my own stuff in my mind.

“Daddy! Ryan and My are holding hands!” Levi called out. I pulled away from her and chuckled. Nicki let out a laugh before pushing me slightly.

“Go get that child and give My some privacy,” she hissed.

~~~

“So you fully forgave her?” Jaymie raised a brow.

“I’on even know. I’m trying and if I don’t think about it then I just slip back into my old ways. I love her and I love my family,” I shrugged.

“I don’t know how you can do it. I can’t get those thoughts out of my mind,” she mumbled.

“Talk about it,” I encouraged.

“Is that even okay? Talking about this whole fucked up situation?” She eyed me.

“You need to vent and I guess I do too. I mean we both probably feel similar ways so why not?” I didn’t see the harm.

“I knew he would probably go off fucking random broads but I had no idea that he would go to her. I always felt like he wished he could’ve had her instead of me,” she looked down.

“What makes you feel like that?”

“She’s everything he could want in a woman. I was always just someone he had around. I knew I shouldn’t have dated someone younger than me. I always liked older men but I got fucked over by so many. I turned to him and I felt comfortable,” she sighed.

“He’s her age. I always felt like he could relate to her more than I could back then,” I said just to help her understand that she wasn’t the only one feeling like this.

“He’s trying to get back together but I can’t deal with him. I just wanna start fresh you know? Maybe find someone who I don’t have history with. I just want someone to love me for me and not have to push me away so many damn times to realize that I was the one he wanted.” She looked at me. “Is that unrealistic?”

“Nah I get what you’re saying. Starting over with someone new is something that would do you some good. There wouldn’t be any baggage,” I nodded. That was a good idea, for her of course.

“Maybe I’ll find someone out in Cali,” she let out a sad smile.

“Maybe you will. Starting fresh sounds real good right about now.” I never thought about that.

“Luckily you won’t have to worry about that. You have a wife and a family,” she shot me a small smile.

“Yeah,” I said slowly. I have a wife and a family.

 

 The next chapter is tomorrow. I can already warn you that it's left at a cliffhanger. Then the next chapter is on Tuesday.