Chapter 100 {Part 3/4}: Footprints in the Sand

Nicki

“Thanks for the ride,” I thanked him.

“No problem Nic. You should tell him,” Channing said as he pulled up to my house.

“I will when the time is right. Thanks for being an ear.” I smiled before getting out of the car. I walked in the house and went to my room. When I got in there, Aubrey was standing by the window.

“So to get even with me, you go out and fuck that psychopath?” He asked darkly with a drink in his hand.

“Not that it’s any of your business but I didn’t fuck him,” I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom.

“You shouldn’t be anywhere near him!” He raised his voice at me. I turned around and glared at him.

“I don’t have to listen to what you say. You went out and fucked Jaymie. I’m done Aubrey! You didn’t forgive me so why are we even doing this? I’m done!” I shook my head.

“You can’t leave me,” he pleaded.

“You have to be kidding me. You went out and fucked someone else. Then you come home and tell me that we’re done and that you fucked her. Now you don’t want me to leave you? I’m done and it’s about time.” I couldn’t stay in this marriage and neither could he.

“I SAID YOU’RE NOT LEAVING ME DAMNIT!” He threw his drink at the wall and the glass smashed into pieces. I jumped and looked at him terrified.

“Aubrey,” I said softly.

“You can’t leave me. She left me. You can’t.” He slid to the ground in tears. He held his head in his hands crying. “She left me. She fucking left me,” he kept mumbling. I stood not knowing what to do. I moved and sat next to him. “Nic,” he started but I shushed him. I moved and pulled him into my arms. We might not be in a good place right now but I knew that he needed someone. I had to be that someone. “She left me. Please don’t leave me Onika,” he begged. I looked down at him crying on me and sighed.

“I’m not leaving Aubrey.” We’ll talk later but right now he needed to just lay down.

Ciara

“Blake?” I called out before walking into her room. I didn't see her but then I heard the shower. I looked around seeing if I could find my curler. We were supposed to leave for Mere’s funeral soon but I needed to fix my hair. I looked over at her dresser but couldn’t find anything. “Ow,” I winced. I looked down to see what I knocked and saw a bottle. I bent down and picked it up. “Of course,” I mumbled.

“What the fuck are you doing with that?” I heard Blake snap.

“So since Mere died you think it’s cool to go back on pills and drugs?” I crossed my arms.

“Stay out of my stuff Ciara.” She glared at me.

“So where did you get these? You called Sage?” I raised a brow.

“Leave.” She stared at me.

“Fine but I’m taking these with me,” I shrugged.

“I can always get more Ciara so you’re just wasting your time. I have enough going on. I don’t need you on my case too,” she huffed.

“I’m your sister Blakelynn. I care and I don’t want to see you like this,” I sighed.

“You’re my half sister meaning that you don’t have to care. Close the door on your way out. Oh, and leave the pills,” she stated before going back into the bathroom. I stood there hurt by her words. I shook my head, dropped the bottle, and walked out.

“What’s wrong C?” Paris asked as I walked through the living room.

“I’m just your half sister so why does that matter?” I mumbled and walked to my room.

Vanessa

“It’s gonna be okay,” Nae promised me as we walked into the church. I nodded as we walked up to the front. A lot of people were here. I didn’t realize how many people loved Mere. I went to the front row shocked to find my mom sitting next to Antonio.

“Mom?” She turned and frowned at my appearance.

“You’re wearing that at a funeral?” She gave me a disapproving look.

“I don’t wear dresses and this is black. Mere wouldn’t care,” I crossed my arms. Mere wouldn’t care what I would wear. She would be proud of me for not caring what everyone else thought. Mom took a deep breath and nodded.

“It’s nice to see you Vanessa,” she smiled small.

“You too Mom.” Mom looked next to me and saw Nadia.

“Hi Grandma,” she said softly.

“Hello baby.” She held out her arms. Nadia went and hugged her as I stared. She was acting differently. I eyed Antonio and he shot me a small wink.

“Thanks,” I mouthed and he nodded. I looked over and saw Aubrey walking in with his family. “Excuse me,” I said before walking over to him. I opened my arms and he hugged me.

“Are you okay?” He questioned.

“I’m alright. How about you?” I saw his eyes red and I didn’t know if he had a hangover or if he was crying. He looked over at Nicki before letting out a small smile.

“I’ll be okay.”

Drake

“Mere and I have known each other for years but at the same time we didn’t. We didn’t realize how we knew each other until much later. We started out rocky but this past year I’ve met the most amazing person I ever knew. She was my cheeks.” Nae smiled slightly. Ryan and Nessa chuckled from the audience and she couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at the nickname. “I feel so numb to it all. I don’t really know how I’m supposed to feel or what I’m supposed to say. She saw a side of me that I never wanted someone to see. She saw me at my lowest. I was border lining taking drugs again but she stopped me. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know where I would be. I would probably be dead if I’m being honest. No one can ever replace her and it’s gonna take a while to get used to this but I know she would want us to continue on with our lives. She would probably yell at me for crying over her. I love Mere and I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.”

“Auntie Mere was my Auntie. She would help me make cookies to surprise Mommy in the morning. She taught me how to ride my bike, tie my shoes, and how to not be afraid. I used to be afraid of the dark and be afraid of older girls who picked on me. Auntie Mere taught me to stand up for myself. I’m not afraid anymore and it’s because of her. She was the best Auntie ever.” Nadia looked down and tears flew down her cheeks. “I miss her.” Nessa got up and pulled her into a hug. Nadia went back to her seat and Nessa looked at all of us.

“I guess it’s my turn. Everyone basically covered everything about her. Mere has seen almost everyone at their worst but she would never tell a soul. She helped me get through a lot and she was the only sister that I had. She was my rock and she was my heart. She helped me raise Nadia when I had no one else. Mere will always be an angel in my eyes.”

I went to the front last and looked out at everyone. “I’m a screwed up person. I don’t really know how to live my life without having her to run to. She always knew how to talk some sense into me. I always felt like I had to protect her and I should’ve protected her better than I did. I should’ve never gotten in that car.” I backed away from the podium and tried to hold in my tears.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I heard someone say. I looked over and saw Shad walking next to me. “Everything happens for a reason and it ain’t right to blame anyone. Mere wouldn’t want that. She’s up there with her father. Everyone knows she’s happy about that.” He looked out at everyone and they agreed with him. Everyone knew how much Mere loved her father. “My bad for ever blaming you.”

“It’s chill.” I pulled him into a hug before focusing on the crowd in front of us. “Mere’s the reason why we’re all here today. Just look around at this crowd. She obviously meant a lot to all of you and we all know that she was an amazing person.” I looked down the aisle and saw someone standing in the back. I looked harder and I swore I saw Mere. I knew I had to be hallucinating. She shot me a proud smile before disappearing. I looked into the audience and saw Levi. He winked and I let out a small smile. Everything was gonna be okay.

Nae

I walked out and looked around for Blake. I found her leaning against her car waiting for Jessi, Paris, and Ciara. “What the fuck did you say to Ciara?” I snapped at her. I was talking to Jessi and Ciara was by her. She told me what happened and I felt like Blake was just spiraling out of control.

“Swearing outside of a church? Wow Jaznae, you’ve lost some class might I say,” she said dryly. I squinted and eyed her for a minute.

“Are you high?” I looked at her in disbelief.

“And this concerns you how?” She looked at me.

“Wow, you really are fucked up. I tried. I really did try but I can’t do this shit anymore. You’re fucked up Blakelynn and you’re never gonna get better,” I shook my head.

“I’m fucked up? Well at least your girlfriend isn’t dead,” she rolled her eyes.

“Acting out isn’t gonna make her come back. This is just making you look pathetic.” I crossed my arms.

“I don’t really care Jaznae. Nothing matters at this point.”

“Did you get this shit from Sage?” I had a feeling she did.

“I get my shit the way I want to get it. I didn’t get anything from her.” I looked down and saw her hand shaking slightly.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Lying really isn’t a good look for you.”

“Can you just leave me alone!? You’ve hated me this entire time and now you’re trying to help me because Mere’s gone!? I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me. I don’t need shit from you,” she snapped.

“You know what? I was fucking mad at you. I was hurt because I wasn’t even gone for a month and you went back to her. I was pissed as hell at you and her but when I saw her.” I took a deep breath trying to contain my emotions. “When I saw her the next night, I couldn’t stay angry at her. She was a mess and I’ve never seen her like that. I stopped being angry at her and I put all of my anger on you. You fucked with her mind and then you say all of this shit and get back with her. It doesn’t matter if you were together when she died or not. What matters is that she was everything you never deserved. She was one of my best friends and I got sick of her crying over you. You are fucked up and now that she’s gone, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m leaving and I’m not looking back Blakelynn. I can guarantee that you won’t see me again.” I looked at her in disgust and walked away. She can be fucked up all by herself.

Mylan

“Thanks for being here for me these last few days,” Ryan said as he wrapped me in a hug. I helped drag him out of his depression. We sorta helped each other and I saw a side of him that I’ve never seen before.

“You don’t have to thank me.” I wanted to be there for him.

“I know but still you’re amazing,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” I blushed. I felt him quickly pull away from me and already knew what happened. Why can’t he give me a few minutes alone with him?

“Mylan we’re ready to go,” I heard Dad say from behind me.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” I turned and shot him a look. Mom grabbed his hand and practically dragged him out. “I’m sorry.”

“He’s just protective over his daughter which he should be,” he shrugged it off.

“Still.” I wrapped my arms around him and pecked his lips. “Bye.”

“Bye.” He kissed me one more time before letting me go. I turned and saw Dad standing at the exit staring at Ryan with a death glare.

“Now we can go,” I grinned and walked out.

Jaymie

“Thanks,” I sighed as I took Carson out of Daven’s arms. He kept him while I went to the funeral.

“You know I don’t mind Jayms,” he shrugged me off. I looked at him and sighed again. I turned and put Carson in the room I was staying in. “So when are you going back?” Daven asked as he followed me.

“Soon. I need to get out of New York,” I mumbled.

“Okay,” he nodded.

“About that, I don’t think you should move out to Cali.” I turned and locked my eyes with him.

“Why?” I looked down and figured the truth was better than a lie.

“Daven I slept with Aubrey,” I admitted. I saw a wave of hurt flash across him but he brushed it off.

“And what does that have to do with me moving out to Cali?” He questioned.

“Wait huh?” I was a little confused.

“I’m moving out there so I can be around. I don’t want our son growing up without a father. We’re not together and I have no control over what you do. I’m trying Jaymie and I just want to be there for him. You said we can start over as friends so as a friend, I would suggest focusing on our son,” he said.

“You’re not mad?” I eyed him.

“I have no right to be mad. You can sleep with whoever you want to sleep with.”

“Daven either way I’m sorry. We both were hurting and it was a mistake,” I apologized because I felt like I had to.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“No but you’re right. You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. Once a hoe, you are always a hoe. I’m fucked up and I’m never gonna be in a stable relationship. I’m a fuck up.” I felt tears fall from my eyes.

“Hey, I told you years ago that I didn’t mean that. You have commitment issues. That doesn’t mean that you’re a hoe. You’re scared to get too serious because you think that one day you’ll be useless and they’ll toss you to the side,” he told me.

“How do you know that?” I looked at him in shock. I’ve never voiced my fears.

“I know you Jaymie. I’ve loved you for years. I would think I would know you by now,” he brushed it off.

“I don’t know how you continue to love me. I’m a fucking mess Daven. Go out and find a girl who deserves you. I don’t deserve shit,” I shook my head.

“And I don’t want any other girl. If I have to wait years for you to know that I’m not going anywhere then so be it. I’ll be here for you as a friend. I’ll be here in any way you want me. I just want to help you work on you.” He wiped my tears.

“I fucking hate you Daven. I hate that you can always see the vulnerable side of me. I hate how much you love me and I hate how much I love you,” I huffed.

“I love you too Jaymie,” he chuckled and I let out a small smile.

 

Nicki

“So how are you two?” Nae and Jessi sat on my couch. Aubrey was over by Shad’s so it was just us. Levi was asleep and Mylan was practicing.

“I don’t know honestly. I couldn’t leave him in the state that he was in but I don’t want him thinking that we got back together. He slept with her. He expects me to forgive that? Our relationship is toxic and we need a break. I know that this is the right thing to do for the kids,” I said.

“And what does that mean?” Jessi raised a brow.

“Is this like the separation thing again?” Nae questioned.

“It’s further than that. I want a divorce,” I admitted.

“You want a divorce?” Jessi and Nae looked at me in shock.

“It’s about time. I never wanted a divorce but this is too far. Our kids are suffering from this and I can’t do this again. We’ve been together for a long time and it’s always on and off. I thought marriage would help secure our relationship but it didn’t. I just feel locked into it. I don’t want to leave him alone after something like this but I can’t do this to myself or our kids,” I elaborated.

“Wow, so you’re officially done?”

“I am and I’m gonna tell him about the baby. We’ll figure something out. I tried and he tried but how much more do we have to try?”

“I guess you’re right.”

“I’m moving back to Cali,” Nae blurted out.

“What?” Jessi and I looked at her confused.

“New York has way too many bad memories for me. I can’t go to Texas because it reminds me of Mere. My mom lives out in Cali and nothing wrong ever goes on there,” she shrugged.

“Well while we’re on the topic of moving, I’m moving back to Atlanta,” Jessi confessed.

“So y’all both are leaving?” I felt like I was being abandon but I understood.

“I heard Cassie was leaving to Florida,” Nae added in.

“Paris and Ciara were thinking about moving to New Orleans to be close to their dad,” Jessi pointed out.

“Do y’all know where Blake is going?” I looked at them.

“To hell,” Nae mumbled. Jessi elbowed her and she groaned. “We all know she is.”

“I thought you were going to talk to her?” I gave her a disapproving look.

“I tried but the bitch was high at the funeral. She’s fucked up Nic and I’m done,” she shook her head.

“You’re done?” Jessi looked over at her.

“She is y’all cousin. I don’t have any connection with her anymore.”

“She was once your best friend and girlfriend. You can’t tell me that you wouldn’t care if she died.” I smirked slightly when she went silent.

“What am I supposed to do? She doesn’t listen to anyone. Mere was always the talker. I ain’t trying to turn into that. That drove Mere crazy.”

“I don’t know but you should try something. She’s still Blake and none of us can give up on her even though we’ve all wanted to at some point. Mere never gave up on any of us so why should we turn our backs on Blake when she needs us?” I tried to get her to understand.

“Alright I’ll try one more time but then I’m done.” I heard the front door open and sighed.

“We’ll see you later Nic.” They hugged me and left. I mentally prepared myself for this conversation with Aubrey.

Blake

I laid on my bed and wanted to stay there for the rest of my life. I heard my door open and felt like groaning. “Get the fuck out,” I snapped without looking.

“Your ass better check who you’re talking to real quick,” I heard Nae snap back. I sat up and glared at her.

“Get out.” She leaned against the wall looking amused.

“Nah I’m not leaving.” She shook her head.

“What do you want? You said that I wouldn’t have to see you again so why are you here?” I just wanted to be alone.

“Your two cousins talked me into this shit. Look Mere never gave up on me so I owe it to her to never give up on you. You’re fucked up and you’re a lost cause but you’re still Blake. I can’t let you fuck up your life like this,” she admitted.

“I don’t need anyone,” I rolled my eyes. She ignored me and looked around my room.

“Ah ha.” She grabbed the pill bottle.

“Give that back!” I hopped up but she went to my bathroom. I walked in and saw her flush the toilet.

“Now that those are out of the way,” she smirked.

“Why are you doing this!? I just want my shit and want to be alone! I don’t need help and I don’t need anyone! I’m fine!” I yelled.

“Look in the mirror Blakelynn! Look at yourself and tell me you’re fine!” She turned me around and I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked fucked up.

“Damn,” I mumbled.

“Yeah you don’t look your best at this moment,” she said sarcastically.

“How did I even get this bad?” I groaned.

“I don’t know but I’m not letting you go down this path. You helped me nine years ago and now I’m helping you. You’re not gonna get addicted to this shit. I refuse to let you do this,” she spoke. I sighed and slid to the floor.

“You’re right, I’m fucked up.” She let out a sigh and sat next to me.

“Yeah you are,” she nodded.

“Thanks,” I chuckled.

“You look like you could use a friend and honestly I could use one too.” She shot me a small smile.

“You’re really gonna let a fuck up back into your life?” I joked.

“Shut up and take a shower. Then get your ass up and apologize to Ciara.” She cut her eyes at me before smiling. “Come here.” I moved and hugged her. “I’m not letting you fuck up your life Blakelynn.”

No One’s P.O.V.

“Goodnight Levi.” My kissed his head and tucked him in.

“Night Night My,” he whispered. She turned his nightlight on and left his door cracked. He sat up and grabbed the locket around his neck. He opened it and smiled. There was a picture of him and Mere smiling wide. The back of the locket had a sentence engraved in it. Levi couldn’t read but he knew what it said. Mere had told him that sentence for years.

“I love you to the moon and back too Auntie Mere,” he said softly. He laid back down and saw Mere sitting on the edge of his bed. “No monsters right?” He questioned.

“No more monsters are ever gonna get you Levi. I’ll always be here to protect you,” she promised. He smiled as he felt his eyes getting heavy. Everyone might think he’s crazy but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t know if it’s real or in his imagination but he likes it. He hasn’t had a nightmare since she died.

Drake

“We need to talk Aubrey and I mean really talk,” Nicki said when I walked in.

“I know,” I nodded. I knew shit wasn’t right between us but I can’t take her leaving me. Mere already left, I can’t have her leave me too.

“This isn’t working and I meant what I said this morning. I’m done and I want a divorce,” she admitted. I sighed and looked down. I had a feeling that this was coming.

“What about you saying that you weren’t gonna leave me? Was that just a lie?”

“I meant that Aubrey. Just because we’re not gonna be married doesn’t mean that I won’t be around. We have three kids Aubrey. I’m always gonna be around,” she assured me.

“You’re always gonna be around as a friend huh?” I asked dryly.

“Aubrey you still have a lot of growing up to do and so do I. We need this and you might not want to admit it but we both know that I’m right.” I sighed and then nodded.

“I know.” I paused for a minute and mentally rewind her words. “Did you say three kids?” I looked at her weird.

 “I’m pregnant Aubrey.” She let out a sad smile.

“Man I fucked up. We’re gonna have a baby and we’re not even gonna be together,” I groaned.

“We need to focus on our kids. I love you Aubrey and I’ll probably never love someone as much as I love you but we can’t do this especially with a baby. We need to end this while we still can. I don’t want us ending on bad terms.” I moved and sat next to her.

“So how are we gonna do this?”

“Let’s focus on our kids. I don’t know what the future holds but if we’re meant to be together then we will be. If we aren’t then it’s best that we get out of it now. I can’t have stress with a baby and you just got the expansion on your company in Canada. We both have a lot going on. No matter what happens between us, we’re always gonna be a family,” she promised.

“I guess we’ll have to wait it out and see,” I nodded slowly. The future is so unpredictable but I knew that we were meant to be together, so if I have to wait then so be it.

 

The LAST chapter is tomorrow and then the epilogue is on Saturday.