Chapter 59: Miserably Loving You

Nicki

Previously:

“What!?” I snapped my face over to him and looked at him in shock. I completely forgot my cheek because I was so focused on what he was saying. I saw him scrunched up his face as he eyed me but I quickly turned away from him. Please, please, please don’t say anything.

“Onika what the fuck happened to your face!?”

 “I um fell,” I couldn’t think of a lie on the spot and he knew it. I mean how was I gonna explain this? I probably still had a handprint on my face and it’s starting to bruise up.

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” he looked extremely angry. He came to touch my face but I flinched out of reflex. “Onika, you know I won’t hurt you,” he whispered before running his hand down my bruised cheek. “Is that nigga putting his hands on you?” He looked at me but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I was almost ashamed that he was seeing me like this. Aubrey always thought I was so strong but now I bet he sees me differently.

“Yeah,” I whispered. I could barely get that word out but I think he deserves to know the truth just because he’s concerned.

“And you still want to be with him?” He looked at me like I was crazy. Everyone looks at me like I’m crazy but it’s not exactly what people think.

“It’s complicated Aubrey, he wants me and we’re getting married; he gives me the security that I need. Yeah things aren’t perfect right now but it’ll get better,” I didn’t even believe that bullshit but I needed him to believe it.

“I know you Nic, you know that you deserve better. You deserve so much better than this and there are many other guys in this world that can give that to you,” he rubbed my hand. My heart sped up when I heard that. Was he implying that he’s one of the many other guys that can give me so much better?

“Like you?” I raised an eyebrow.

“You know that I can if you just gave me the opportunity. Even if you don't want me, I would rather you end up with someone who can treat you better than him,” he snapped. I knew that he didn’t like Channing from the first time that they met but now this is beyond him being jealous of him. He looks like he wants to kill him from what he did to me.

“Aubrey calm down,” I rubbed the side of his face. I didn’t want him getting worked up about something like this. It’s not a conversation that I want to have and get in dept with.

 “I can’t when I’m seeing the woman I love getting abused,” he shook his head. Did I just hear him right? Did he just say that he’s still loves me? I don’t know why but I just thought that the love that he had for me faded.

“You still love me?” I looked at him for assurance.

“What kind of question is that; of course I love you,” he locked his eyes with mine.

“Aubrey,” he brought his face closer to mine. I knew that he was about to kiss me and I was about to let him but the sound of an alarm disturbed us. I hopped up and went to give My her medicine. I couldn’t believe that I was about to let that happen.

Cassie 

“Are you ready?” I asked Alexis before we walked into the gym. Shad told me to come after practice so they could officially meet. Alexis was taking forever getting dressed because she said that she had to have the perfect outfit.

“Hold on,” she took a dramatic pause. “Now I’m ready,” she flipped her hair. She’s so overdramatic but that’s my baby.

“You are such a diva,” I shook my head.

“Well then I am the female version of a hustler,” she smiled. I scrunched up my face at the use of Beyoncé lyrics. I knew that she didn’t listen to her; she doesn’t even have an IPod.

“Who told you that?” I looked down at her.

“Mylan,” she said before we walked in. I should’ve known, Mylan always “teaches” her something. I knocked on his door and heard him say come in. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door. His eyes glanced at me and then stayed glued to Alexis. The two stared at each other for a while. “Hi! My name’s Alexis even though you know that already,” she gleamed.

“Hi I’m-,” he started to say.

“I know who you are. You’re my other daddy that was at the hospital,” she cut him off. He looked at me and I just hid my laugh. It takes people a second to get used to Alexis and sassy overdramatic ways.

“Yeah,” he smiled a little. I held in my smile when I saw his eyes brighten at the sound of her calling him her Dad. I shouldn’t have kept her from him for five years. Now this just makes me regret everything I’ve done.

“Well are you gonna stand there or hug me?” She tilted her head with her hands on her hips waiting. He picked her up and hugged her.  Once he put her down, she roamed around the room.

“She’s different,” he struggled to say. Different is an understatement; she’s completely unusual compared to the other kids her age. I get calls from her school saying that she’s teaching some of the kids some stupid things that Mylan taught her.

“She’s way too grown for her age; been hanging out with Mylan a little too much,” I laughed.

“Ooh!” Alexis climbed into his spinning chair. She spun around a couple times until she grew bored and looked around for something else to do.

“She’s full of energy; just like you” I warned him. He grinned as he watched her wonder around the room.

“Can you give me a cookie?” She placed a hand on her hip and looked at Shad.

 

Blake

“So you kissed her right then and there?” Mere asked me to make sure. I guess that’s one way to put it because it was just like that.

“I needed to prove a point and that was the only way to do it,” I shrugged. I had a huge pride and I didn’t want Nicki to tear that down just because I was scared. I’m not the same person I was six years ago. I mean, I don’t wanna be the same person.

“That’s a dumbass excuse,” she mumbled. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME BLAKELYNN!?” She yelled.

“I’m sorry, it didn’t mean anything,” I pleaded. She stared at me long and hard before she fell out laughing. She should’ve known I couldn’t think of shit to say right on the spot.

“You need to work on your acting skill babe,” she laughed. I couldn’t act for the life of me but I tried so she should be happy.

“At least I attempted,” I put my hands up in surrender. Like I said, we have an understanding with everything.

“So since you did that, I think you should make it up to me,” she fell back onto the bed and looked at me. She think she’s slick but I knew that she just wanted some either way.

“You just want an excuse for me to give you head,” I smirked before climbing on top of her. She looked up at me before laughing and nodded her head.

“That’s what you’re here for,” she grinned.

Drake

Nicki has been avoiding me all day but once My fell asleep for the night, I walked into her room. “You can’t keep letting him put his hands on you,” I shook my head at her. I don’t understand how she could even stay with a man who did that. I’ll admit that I fucked up with her but this is beyond fucking up with someone. Just wait till I see that nigga.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” she sighed. It’s not that big of a deal? A nigga is putting his hands on you and you say that it’s not that big of a deal!?

“Have you seen your face? If that’s not a big deal then I don’t know what is. Why are you still with this guy Nic?” I sat next to her on the bed. It doesn’t make sense to me. Nicki isn’t the type of person who will deal with this type of shit.

“Because he loves me and he gave me a ring. It gives me comfort to know that I’m the only woman he thinks about. He even respects my wishes to stay celibate until marriage,” she admitted. She’s with him because he gave her a ring? What is that ring suppose to symbolize when he’s putting his hands on you? Oh since he loves you, he can get away with it?

“Wait you’re celibate until marriage?” I was shocked because that’s something that I didn’t expect from Nicki. Nicki loved sex and I mean she really loved sex. I don’t understand why she would be celibate but it does comfort me knowing that she didn’t have sex with that nigga.

“Yeah, I told everyone that I did it so I won’t get screwed over but the truth is that I can’t see myself having sex with anyone but you,” she whispered the last part. She can’t have sex with anyone with me? Why doesn’t she just come back to me and give me another chance?

“So I’m your only one?” I was trying to make sure and she nodded. To say that didn’t boast my pride and my ego would be a lie. “I've missed you Nic,” I let a sad smile appear on my face. I've missed her so much these last six years. It just reminded me how much I fucked up. Some days I’ll wake up in the middle of the night to pull her closer then I realize that she’s not there and she’s never coming back.

“I've missed you too,” she confessed. I looked over at her in shock because I thought I was the last person she would miss. She just seemed so happy and into that nigga and it made me think that I’ve lost all of my chances with her.

“You have?” She locked her eyes with me and nodded; making a smile appear on my face. It was nice to know that she missed me too.

“Yeah, I never knew how much I missed you until I saw you again. I guess that’s why I didn’t want to see you in person; in fear that I would miss you,” she looked down. I stayed quiet so she continued talking. “Why did you have to drug me? Everything would’ve been perfect if you didn’t,” she put her head in her hands. That was such a stupid idea that I had. It was childish and selfish but I thought that was the only way back then. Now I realized how that was the worst thing I could’ve done besides cheating.

“I was scared you would move on from me so I panicked. I didn’t want you with another guy but look how that turned out,” I mumbled the last part. I just pushed her to go to Paris and find someone else.

“I wouldn’t be with him if you didn’t do that. I didn’t even date him until two years after we broke up,” she looked at me. I was actually getting somewhere with Nicki. She hasn’t opened up this much with me since she’s been here.

“I wish I didn’t do that. I would take it back if I could because you didn’t deserve that,” I apologized.

“The funny thing is that I thought you would’ve fought harder for me. I kept thinking that you would try you hardest to win me back but you didn’t. I accepted that and then Channing helped me get over you; at least I thought I was over you. All of these feelings are coming back and I can’t control them,” she sighed.

“I wanted to fight for you Onika; believe me I did. I knew that if I did and we got back together, something else would happen. I had to grow as a man and realize my wrongs,” I turned her head so she would face me.

“You really grew up,” she locked her eyes with mine.

“I have and I want you back. I can’t function without you in my life. These last six years have been the worst of my life. I knew I should've tried to get you back but I didn’t,” I felt my eyes watering. She wiped the one tear that escaped from my eye.

“Aubrey,” she started to cry. I pulled her close and she melted into me. I let her cry in my arms as I rubbed her back.

“I’m sorry for all that I’ve put you through. I really am sorry,” I kissed her head. She backed away a bit and trained her eyes on me.

“I should have stayed,” she whispered.

“I should have fought harder,” I whispered back. She looked down but I tilted her head up. “I still love you Onika,” I confessed.

“I still love you Aubrey,” she confessed also. I couldn’t help it anymore; I crashed my lips onto hers. She moaned at the impact before kissing me back. I gripped her waist and pulled her as close as I could.