Chapter 55: When You Really Love Someone

Nicki

“Where are you going?” I mentally cursed myself for being so loud. I should’ve just gotten dressed in the bathroom and then maybe I wouldn’t have to deal with this. I turned and faced Channing who was waking up.

“Mylan wanted me to drop her off at Aubrey’s and then I was gonna go see Blake,” I explained. It wasn’t like I’m lying. I was really going to drop her off and then go see Blake.

“So you’re not gonna get out of the car?” He needs to get over this jealous faze because it’s getting old real quick. I wish that we were back in Paris just so he could stop. What will happen if we actually moved back here?

 “No I’m not,” I lied; I’m willing to say anything to shut him up at this point.

“Alright,” he pecked my lips before going into the bathroom. I drove My to Aubrey’s house and actually got out; I needed to apologize to him. I shouldn’t have said that the way I did and I wanted him to know that.

“Mom, can I go get Nyra and drag her over here?” I nodded at My and she went next door to Kolbie’s house. I knocked on the door and my eyes widen when he answered. He was soaking wet with a towel being the only thing covering him.

“My bad Nic, I didn’t think y’all would be over here this early,” he let me in and then went upstairs to change. He came back down in a t-shirt and shorts. “Where’s My?” He sat next to me on the couch.

“She’s over at Kolbie’s to get Nyra,” I said and he nodded while leaning back a bit. I bit my lip trying to figure out how to exactly apologize for what happened. It was complicated to explain how I said that the way I did.

“You don’t need to apologize Nic,” I guess he read my mind. He’s wrong if he thinks I don’t need to apologize for that.

“Yes I do Aubrey, it came out wrong and I didn’t mean it like that,” I didn’t really know which way I meant it.

“Naw you made it clear that if you wanted me then you would have came back years ago,” he nodded while having a sad expression on his face. My face dropped a little seeing the hurt look in his eyes.

“I wanted to come back but I couldn’t swallow my pride. You drugged me Aubrey; do you know how hurt I was?” It made me lose all kind of trust in him.

“I was young and dumb; I thought that that was the only way that I could get you to stay. I was twenty two back then and now I’m twenty eight, I grew up and realized how stupid I was back then. I’m sorry that I couldn’t make you happy and if Channing can then I’m happy for you,” he gave me a halfhearted smile.

“It wasn’t that you couldn’t make me happy because, believe me, you could. It was all the childish shit that you did back then and now I can see that you actually grew up. If I’m being honest, if I wasn’t with Channing, I might have considered working on us,” I admitted and saw a small flash of hope cross his eyes. I tried to fight my smile as he looked over at me.

“I really screwed up,” he rubbed the back of his neck while I nodded. He truly did because none of this shit would’ve happened if he didn’t drug me.

“Why did you have to drug me Aubrey? We could have been perfect if you didn’t do that,” I put my head in my hands.

“And now you’re getting married,” he sighed. Marriage was a word that I’ve wanted to hear since I was a little kid. I just didn’t know who my husband would be. If I’m being honest, I’m still not 100% sure.

“Yeah,” I smiled a little. Mylan came in with Nyra right by her side.

“Auntie Nicki!” She ran into my arms.

“Oh my goodness you’ve gotten big,” I looked at her. I haven’t seen her in two years and she definitely grew. “Well I have to go but I’ll be back to pick you up whenever you wanna come back,” I kissed Nyra and My before I turned to Aubrey. He held his arms out and I walked into them; I’ve missed being this close to him. I pulled away and smiled before heading over to Blake’s.

 

Blake

“Hey,” Nicki came and laid out across my bed. My mom went to her friend’s house and Mere went to visit her sister so it was just me.

“You act like this is your house,” I joked because she used to live here also. It was weird being back here after all of these years because a lot happened in my room when I was a teenager.

“So did you have fun at the reunion?” She raised an eyebrow at me. I rolled my eyes before proceeding to brush my hair. “Avoiding the question I see.”

“Being annoying I see,” I turned and took a seat next to her. “It was nice seeing the whole team,” I kept it short. She’s just gonna keep asking question after question.

“So what about what you said outside when it was Nae, you, and me?” I knew she would ask me that. I honestly don’t even know why I said it, it just slipped out.

“I was just talking nonsense to help you understand your feelings,” I shrugged and she eyed me. “What I didn’t like was your ass trying to start some shit,” I snapped but she only laughed in return.

“So how was it seeing Nae again after six years?”

“It was fine,” I cut my eyes at her because I knew she wouldn’t let this go; she still hasn’t changed after all of these years. I thought she would’ve grown out of this but she’s still nosey and annoying as fuck when it comes to stuff like this.

“Why didn’t you guys keep in touch?” I groaned and fell back on my bed at the constant questioning. She acts like she's the fucking F.B.I.

“I don’t know but I don’t care Nic, can we please drop the subject?” I pleaded and she nodded.

“I have one more question though; how does Mere feel about you being around Nae?” I turned to look at her before answering.

“Mere and I have an understanding about everything involving Nae,” I said slowly. That was the only way that I could put it.

“What does that mean?” I knew I confused her but I knew what it meant. There’s no reason for her to know what that means.

“Don’t worry bout it,” I smiled before changing the topic.

 

Cassie

“Mommy! Can I get this!?” Alexis held up two candy bars. This has been going on the entire time we’ve been in the store. She got one more time before I pick her up.

“Only one,” I told her. She rubbed her chin before putting one in the cart. I moved down the aisle and she tried to put everything in there. “That’s it,” I picked her up and put her in the basket.

“Aww man,” she pouted because I always have to do this. Alexis was surely a handful and she got that from me. My mom always said that I would have a child who acted just like me.

“Hey,” I looked up and saw Shad standing in front of me.

“Hey Shad,” I let a light smile cross my face.

“Hi!” Alexis waved at him and he waved back. I took Alexis out of the basket and told her to pick one pack of cookies. She ran off a little but was close enough for me to keep an eye on her. She stood on her toes trying to get a box and I laughed.

“Yo, she acts just like you,” Shad laughed as he eyed her.

“I know and that’s just my luck. I knew it would bite me in the ass one day,” I giggled. She’s a handful but she’s my baby and I love her.

“I can’t believe that you’re married with a kid,” he shook his head in disbelief.

“Yeah I can’t believe it either but I am. I guess I really grew up and learned how to face the world,” I really learned a lot about myself in my time in Paris.

“I’ve seen you in my magazines,” he smiled slightly.

“I didn’t think my modeling pictures made it in America,” I beamed; that means they were really good.

“They’re really good; I’m proud of you Cass,” he had a look in his eyes that caused me to look away. I knew what that look meant but I had it set in my mind not to believe it.

“Mommy, I found some cookies!” Alexis came back with so many boxes that it covered her face. Here she goes again doing shit she knows I wouldn’t allow her to do.

“Alexis Marie Keeling!” I called her by her full name and crossed my arms. She huffed and went to put some back. “She’s obsessed with cookies,” I looked over at her trying to put them back.

“Well it was nice seeing you Cass,” he looked like he was trying to decide if he should hug me or not.

“You can hug me Shad,” I rolled my eyes playfully. He laughed while wrapping me into a hug and kissing the side of my head. “I’ll see you around,” I waved before I walked over to Alexis.

Nicki



“So how was it seeing Blake at the reunion?” I asked Nae as we sat on the couch in the living room. She looked at me and then rolled her eyes much similar to Blake.

“How was it seeing Drake?” She threw the question back at me.

“Well we’ve been talking since I left so it wasn’t awkward but you haven’t talked to Blake in six years,” I gave her an innocent look.

“You are so fucking annoying,” she laughed.

“Alright I’ll do this. You ask me a question and then I ask you one,” I offered. I wanted to know some things and I knew that she wanted to know some things too.

“How was it really seeing Drake in person after six years?” She raised a brow. I knew that was gonna be the question she would ask. I wasn’t gonna lie to her because I didn’t want her to lie to me.

“It was almost unreal you know but we just fell back into our old ways and acted like we’ve seen each other every day,” I spoke honestly. She nodded her head in agreement and waited for me to ask her. “How was it seeing Blake at the reunion?” I sat back and watched her facial expressions. She bit her lip debating if she should be honest but I nudged her with my foot. “Be honest,” I looked at her and she let out a small smile.

“I mean I expected to see her after talking to you and Cassie but I didn’t expect what it would be like when I saw her. It awkward, nice, and different at the same time if that makes sense,” she scrunched up her face.

“I’ll allow that one because I don’t know how to explain some of the things I think about Aubrey,” I shrugged.

“Okay so do you have any old feelings stirring up after all of these years?” She questioned.

“That’s good one, I’ll give you that,” I smiled. This is a question that I don’t think that I’m even honest with myself about. “I love Channing, believe me when I say that but there’s something about Aubrey that never fails to pull me in. I just trust Channing more with my heart than Aubrey because he plays too much,” I nodded.

“I can see that, Aubrey was your first love but Channing is a safer one to love,” she related.

“You’re thinking about the whole Blake and Mere thing aren’t you?” I eyed her.

“Is that a question?” She grinned a bit at me.

“Yeah I guess it is now,” I wanted to know. It was something that Blake would never answer but Nae is open with me. We’ve always been open with each other hence why she’s my best friend.

“In a way yeah I am. I mean I treated Blake like shit and Chimere treated her the way she should be treated. I can’t even be mad at that,” she let out a sad smile. “Now, do you think something might happen between you and Drake over these next couple of weeks with you staying here?” She wiggled her eyebrows and I laughed.

“You’re a fool,” I shook my head before answering. “Right now, no I don’t think so. I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow or the next day. Everything is so unpredictable with Aubrey,” I could never understand my feelings for him and the way he has control over every last one of my emotions.

“If anything happens, make sure it involves condoms,” she chuckled.

“Oh shut up! Now, I got a question. What did you think about that comment Blake made outside at the reunion?” I’ve been wondering that for a while. She looked at me and laughed.

“You never fail to amaze me with the questions that you have. You hit everything on the nail. I don’t know, when she made that comment I think she was just speaking without thinking about what she was really saying. I didn’t really take it to heart,” she looked down a bit.

“Nae, don’t believe that bullshit. She might have been speaking without actually comprehending what she was saying but I’m pretty sure that she meant it. She was right though, there’s always gonna be some feelings left for your first love. She really loved you back then so I don’t think that will ever fade. I mean look what she did for you when you woke up from a coma. She could’ve been mad at you and said fuck it but she went out of her way for you. She wouldn’t do that shit for anyone but you,” I really wanted her to know. She tends to brush things off but she shouldn’t brush this off.

“I really fucked everything up with her. I was fucked up back then and that’s the exact reason I didn’t wanna get with her but you can only resist a person for so long until you give into temptation,” she sighed.

“I know what you mean by that,” I nodded in agreement.

“So I have one last question for you. Why are you celibate Nika?” She smirked a little.

“I was waiting for that question to be honest. At first it was because I was sick of being screwed over and didn’t wanna have to go through that again. Over time I realized it was because I can’t see myself having sex with anyone but Aubrey,” I admitted.

“He’s your first love and first time. When you add those two together, it’s practically impossible to break. You don’t have to tell me something that you already know. You know that you don’t just have feelings for him. You still love him,” she looked at me. I opened my mouth to say something but stopped. I really didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Nic, I said you don’t have to tell me something that you already know. I know your answer and you do too. It’s okay if you’re not ready to admit it. Just know that he’s waiting and he probably will do anything to get you back. Just don’t give up on him alright?

              I know how Drake feels and it’s not a good feeling to know that you fucked up someone’s life over and over until they were finally done with you. I’m not saying that you have to leave Channing but I’m telling you to really think about your feelings before you marry him. Is he someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with? If you can’t say yes without any hesitation then you need to back up and sort how you’re feeling,” she told me.

“Since when have you become so wise?” I looked at her shocked.

“A lot can happen in six years,” she smiled proudly.

“Thanks for that, you don’t know how much I’ve miss you,” I hugged her.

“I’ve missed you too Nika,” she said. Her words are gonna be stuck in my head all night. I doubt I’ll get any sleep but maybe I should sort out my feelings.

 

Okay so if you look to the right then you can see that I updated my blog Moment For Life this morning. It's a oneshot and I might start working on some of my other blogs soon. I also made another tumblr where I'll put links up when I post things on blogger. It's

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/shaylynnvalentia