Chapter 88: Hope for the Hopeless

 

Paris

We all stared at Mere and Nae as they sat on the couch. “I know I’m hot but damn,” Nae broke the awkward tension as we chuckled. It was Nicki, Cassie, Jessi, Ciara, and I here with them at our house. Blake was here but she was still sleeping. After last night I wouldn’t be surprised if she stayed asleep for the whole day.

“So y’all are really close,” I eyed them. They were even sitting close on the couch and that just made me question things. No wonder Blake was a mess when she found out.

“We’re good friends,” Mere spoke as if it was normal. They hated each other and I just didn’t understand what made them become this close.

“Since when?” Cassie questioned.

“About a year ago,” Nae said slowly.

“How?” Jessi scrunched up her face.

“Okay question and answer time is over. Can we just act like normal?” Mere cut us off.

“Alright,” I sighed. I heard Blake’s door open and she walked out. She froze when she saw Mere and Nae. Sage walked out of her room and eyed us but didn’t say anything. She did shoot daggers at Mere and she gladly returned it. They never will like each other. It’s almost like Sage took Nae’s spot.

“I’ll catch you tonight rocker girl,” she winked and walked out.

“Good morning Blakelynn. Or should I say good afternoon?” I smirked at my twin.

“Shut up.” She plopped down next to me holding her head.

“Hangover?” Ciara gave her a knowing look.

“I don’t wanna hear it,” she groaned.

“What time did you come home?” Ciara asked since she was the only one who didn’t see her last night.

“I don’t know it was like three something,” she shrugged.

“Why did you bring it with you?” Ciara kept on with the questions.

“Because she gives good head,” she said bluntly.

“On that note,” Nicki changed the topic.

“I’m gonna get some pills,” Blake got up and her shirt rose a bit. Everyone’s eyes immediately went to her waist.

“Is that a new tattoo?” Cassie moved closer to see it.

“Um that? Yeah it is I guess. I’ve had it for almost a year or so.” She looked like she didn’t expect anyone to see it.

“What language is it in?” Nicki asked.

“Is it Italian?” I got a good look at it.

“Yeah Dad taught me a lot about the language. I just thought it was cool,” she shrugged.

“What does it say?” Ciara asked but Blake shook her head. Why get a tattoo if you’re not gonna tell anyone what it means?

“It’s not about how much you say I love you,” Nae spoke up. Blake snapped her head towards Nae and glared.

“You speak Italian?” Nicki looked at Nae.

“Nope,” she smirked.

Nicki

I pulled up to Aubrey’s condo with the kids in the car. “Last chance to save me from torture.” Mylan looked over at me with pleading eyes.

“I’m sorry sweetie.” I knew that she needed time with him. We got out and I went to the back to grab Levi.

“Mommy,” he mumbled as he drifted off again.

“Can you get his backpack?” I asked My. She nodded and went to grab it. I knocked on the door and waited. Aubrey came and looked at me for a minute. I cleared my throat waking Levi up in the process. He rubbed his eyes and looked at us.

“Hi Daddy!” He smiled.

“Hey little man.” He took him out of my arms. Mylan came and stood next to me.

“Be good.” I pulled her into a hug.

“Mom,” she gave me a pleading look. I saw a little fear behind her eyes.

“Call me if you really need to come home,” I said lowly.

“Thank you,” she sighed and walked into his house.

“Can we talk for a minute?” I heard him say before I could leave.

“I guess,” I mumbled. He let Levi down and he ran off.

“Is there a chance for us at all?” He rubbed the back of his neck. He looked like he didn’t go to sleep and his eyes looked kind of red. It probably was from the lack of sleep because Aubrey rarely cried.

“I don’t know,” I spoke honestly. Why go through the same routine with him again? Everyone has a point where they are done with all of the drama.

“Do you love him?” I knew that he found out about him. It seems like it’s only a matter of time before everyone found out about him. It’s not even a big deal but everyone is gonna blow it out of proportion.

“I don’t know,” I huffed. His faced dropped at my answer. It’s a question that I can’t answer yet. I don’t know if I love him but I do have strong feelings for him. He helped me get myself together and how can I not fall for someone who does that? It happened before so I’m not surprised.

“Who is he?”

“It doesn’t matter who he is.” I shook my head knowing that shit would pop off. I refused to open my mouth and tell him who he is.

“I swear if you went back to him.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Went back to Channing? Why would that be so wrong? People change Aubrey, I mean you have,” I eyed him. Everyone should stop hanging onto the past. How does he expect me to forgive him for the past if he’s still holding the past over others?

“So you’re with him?” I looked down and kept quiet.

“I’m not with anyone right now,” I broke the silence.

“So you’re not even gonna consider getting back together?” He choked up. I looked at him a little shocked. I’ve never seen him be this emotional around me in a long time.

“I have to go,” I walked back to my car and pulled off. I can’t handle looking at him right now. He always knew how to pull me in but this time it wasn’t enough. I refuse to let him do this again. I’m trying to stand on my own and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I drove to his house and sat in the car for a minute. It’s not like I’m doing anything wrong. I’m just having fun and enjoying my life. I got out and walked inside the house. I heard Jason Derulo Want To Want Me playing. I went into the kitchen and saw his hand moving towards the speakers.

“Don’t turn it off!” I objected. He turned and looked at me with an amused smile.

“You like this song?”

“I love this song. Dance with me,” I grabbed his hands.

“I don’t dance Nic.” He shook his head.

“Well you’re about to dance today. Come on,” I pouted.

“Come here,” he gave in. I walked closer and we just had fun. It just made me forget about all the problems in my life. He twirled me as the song ended.

“Wasn’t that fun?” I raised a brow.

“With you anything is fun,” he chuckled.

“You too.”

Drake

“Okay now extend your arm and shoot it,” I showed Levi. He did exactly what I said and made the shot.

“I did it!” He raised his hands in the air. It was only a kid’s basketball hoop but he accomplished something. He said Mere taught him how to shoot but she had to hold him so he could reach the hoop. I thought that this might be easier for him.

“You sure did buddy,” I rubbed his hair.

“I can tie my shoes and play ball,” he smiled.

“And I’ll teach you some more things tomorrow,” I promised him.

“I love you Daddy,” he looked up at me.                        

“I love you too Levi.” I picked him up and walked in the house. Mylan was on the couch still her phone just like she has been for the last two hours. She glanced at us but didn’t say anything. She hasn’t said a word since Nicki dropped her off.

“My! I can play ball!” Levi jumped out of my arms and ran over to her. She caught him in her arms and chuckled.

“That’s great Levi,” she smiled. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her smile but Levi can make anyone smile.

“I’m dying!” Levi exclaimed.

“Then we better get some food in you buddy.” I went into the kitchen. I made lunch and it was silent as we ate. “So how’s school?” I asked My. She looked at me and went back to looking at her food. She was honestly just pushing her food around.

“Fine,” was all she said.

“Are you ever gonna talk to me again?” I just waned to know. She dropped her fork and glared at me.

“You think just because you decided to be a father now I should automatically forgive you? That question years ago that I never worked up the courage to ask you was if you regretted it. This past year showed me all I needed to know. Whatever promise you made to me when I was seven you’re freed from. I don’t need a dad anymore.” She got up and walked to the bathroom. I screwed up with my whole family. I didn’t even know a tear fell until Levi wiped it.

“It’s okay you’re still my daddy,” he hugged me.

“Thanks buddy,” I held him close.

Blake

I took a deep breath and knocked on Mere’s door. She texted me and we both agreed that we needed to talk. The door opened and Ryan smiled widely. “Bestie!” He pulled me into a hug.

“Hey Ry,” I chuckled. “You’ve gotten so tall,” I eyed him. I haven’t seen him for about a year and I guess he hit puberty.

“I know I got sexy,” he winked.

“Still a lesbian,” I reminded him.

“My charms will get to you one day,” he laughed. I heard voices and turned to see Mere and Nae. She whispered something to Mere before going into the living room.

“Come on,” Mere turned and I followed her out to the balcony. She sat on the edge and I joined her. “You probably hate me,” she mumbled.

“I did but I know you. I know you wouldn’t lie to me unless it was something serious,” I sighed. It’s hard when I wanted to be mad about this entire situation but I knew she wouldn’t do something like this for no reason.

“I know shit is extremely complicated right now but I don’t want you to think that Nae replaced you in my life,” she gave me a knowing look.

“It seems like it,” I shrugged. We barely hung out anymore but everything adds with her keeping in touch with Nae. She spent most of her free time in Texas.

“Blake it’s complicated. I know I keep saying that but it is,” she looked frustrated.

“I knew something was going on with you but I never thought you would lie to me. That’s just hard to accept but I guess I’ll have to get over it.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized.

“I’m surprised you’re apologizing to me. I thought Nae made herself pretty clear,” I rolled my eyes. She was acting like a bitch and I had no idea why. Why is she snapping at me? I should be the one mad at her but it’s twisted.

“Nae was talking about something else. I’m apologizing for breaking our promise. I really am sorry and I’m done lying to you. That’s the only thing I’ve lied to you about,” she assured me.

“You two never hooked up right?” I asked cautiously. She stared at me for a moment and that make me question her. There goes that weird look on her face.

“No we haven’t Blakelynn. We don’t look at each other in that way and I’m engaged. It seems like everyone tends to forget that,” she huffed. Everyone tends to forget because she tends to forget it.

“Still haven’t set a date right?” I raised a brow and eyed her. She tensed up but quickly brushed it off.

“No not yet,” she shook her head. “So are we cool now?” She checked with me.

“Yeah.” I didn’t want to be mad at her anymore. What’s the point?

“What about Nae?” She questioned.

“Now that is an entire different situation and we both know it,” I pointed out.

“Alright I give up. That’s y’all drama so I’ll stay out of it,” she gave up.

“Come here.” I opened up my arms. She chuckled and we hugged it out. “No more lies okay?” I locked my eyes with hers as we pulled away.

“Alright,” she agreed. A few seconds later I felt a pair of arms wrap around us.

“Isn’t this relaxing?”

“Ryan!” Mere pushed him back so she could pull away from us.

“You always hating,” he shook his head at her. I walked back inside and saw Nae on the couch. She eyed me but kept quiet.

“We can talk another day.” I’ve had enough for today.

“Save it.” She turned the TV off.

“What’s your problem? I should be the one mad at you yet you keep snapping at me,” I cut my eyes at her.

“Everything is always about you huh Blake?” She chuckled dryly as her phone rang. “I have to take this.” She got up and went upstairs.

Mylan

“But Auntie Nae,” I whined over the phone. I was out on the balcony getting fresh air and trying to escape spending time with Dad for a while.

“I don’t wanna hear it. He’s still your father at the end of the day and you should show him some respect. He’s trying Mylan and isn’t that what you wanted? You wanted him to care and he cares. It might be later than you wanted it to be but he’s trying. You have to give him credit for that,” she told me.

“I hate it when you’re right.” I heard her chuckle over the phone.

“Go talk to him and give Levi a kiss for me. I love you kid.”

“I love you too Auntie Nae,” I said before we hung up. I've missed having her in my life and I hope she doesn’t leave again. I walked back into the living room and saw Levi laying on the couch. “Hey where’s Dad?” I asked him.

“Daddy is sad,” he pouted.

“What do you mean?” I went by him.

“You don’t want Daddy no more so he’s sad,” he shrugged.

“It’s complicated Levi but I’ll talk to him.” I kissed his head and walked upstairs. I heard something from his room and walked towards it. I was about to knock but then I heard him talking.

“I wish you were here right now Mom. You could’ve talked some sense into me before I let it get this far. I screwed up my life and I haven’t felt this low since you died. I never wanted to be this type of person and now it’s too late. Nicki’s moving on and Mylan’s done with me. I was just so wrapped up in my company. I started it for you and I wanted to help kids like me and it grew from there. I always push myself for you but I pushed myself too far this time,” he went quiet. I opened his door and saw him faced away from me.

“I just wanted to make you proud but I fucked up,” I heard him cry. I’ve never seen my dad cry in my life. It was heartbreaking to watch. I know exactly how it feels to try to make your mom proud. I barely knew my birth mother but I still wanna make her proud you know? I walked over and sat next to him.

“I get it,” I said softly. I looked down for a moment and tried to contain my tears but it was hard. “I understand trying to make your mom proud. I get putting your all into something and being blinded from the world. I know how hard you work and I know why you do it. You did fuck up, my bad, mess up but it’s not too late.”

“I am so sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me Mylan. I don’t know what I was thinking,” he shook his head. I let out a sigh and leaned my head against his shoulder.

“At least you’re here now and that’s all that matters.” He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead.

“I love you baby girl.”

“I love you too Dad.”

 

Nicki

 

“I have a question,” Nae said as she laid across my bed.

 

“What is it?” I turned away from my mirror and joined her on the bed.

 

“Where were you last night? Mylan called me and I stayed over here. I had to leave early but you were out all night. She said you were with Jessi but Jessi visited her mom last night,” she eyed me. I knew this would come back to me and I couldn’t think of another lie.

 

“I meant Cassie,” I lied.

 

“Cassie was talking to Mere at her house last night,” she sat up.

 

“Why ask a question if you already know the answer?” I sighed.

 

“I know you weren’t with any of the girls and I just want to know who you were with. I mean there’s only one person left,” she crossed her arms.

 

“I was not with Channing,” I hissed.

 

“That’s not who I’m thinking of,” she shook her head slowly.

 

“Who are you thinking of?” I asked cautiously.

 

“I mean there was this guy you used to run to nine years ago,” she gave me a knowing look.

 

“Daven is in Germany with Jaymie,” I reminded her. She let out a small smile and stood up. “What’s with the smile?”

 

“Nothing Nic, you crossed those two off my list. I don’t know where you were but I do know that everyone is eventually gonna find out. I’m back Onika and I’m not going anywhere any time soon,” she smirked as she walked out of the room.