Chapter 81: Who Are You Now?

Nicki

“I’m sorry Nic but I can’t deal with him right now,” Mere shook her head as we packed up in the studio.

“Damn he pissed you off too?” Paris looked at her in shock. Everyone was shocked when Mere said she was done with him. He really pushed everyone over the edge.

“At this moment I am so done. He’s just adding unnecessary stress onto me,” she sighed. He’s been stressing everyone out and I’m sick of it.

“I feel you,” I nodded. Levi walked over and looked up at me. “What’s wrong baby?” He had this weird look on his face.

“Why so much noise last night?” He questioned. I mentally groaned at how loud we fought. I didn’t think about the kids hearing that. I can only imagine how much Mylan heard.

“I’m sorry baby,” I apologized.

“You still love Daddy right?”

“Of course baby.” I couldn’t stop loving him but I can be extremely annoyed and frustrated with him at this moment.

“Okay,” he moved and went to talk to Mere.

“Aye Mere, aren’t you meeting up with Blake later?” Paris asked her. Mere looked up from talking to Levi and nodded at her. “Can you talk some sense into her delusional ass?” Ciara chuckled when Paris said that.

“Is this about the Sage thing?”

“Yeah she’s honestly going insane. I think her and Drake are on the same shit,” Paris joked. I felt that was about accurate because Blake was pretty delusional herself.

“I don’t talk about Sage with her but she complains about y’all. We already know how she gets when you mention,” she started but Ciara cut her off.

“Don’t say the forbidden name!” We all fell out laughing. Making fun of some of the things Blake did was hilarious. She was so overdramatic when it came to Nae.

“Maybe I’ll mention something,” she shrugged. “Oh speaking of later, I have to go to Texas right afterwards,” she informed us.

“Damn Mere how many times are you gonna fly back and forth?”

“I just wanna make sure everything is good down there,” she shrugged.

“Alright I’ll see y’all later,” I hugged the girls and Levi followed suit. I drove home and didn’t feel like dealing with Drake. I opened the door and went upstairs. I walked into our bedroom and saw Drake on his laptop. I kept quiet because I didn’t know what there was left to say. He obviously is stuck in his own little world so what’s the point?

“You’re not even gonna acknowledge me?” I heard him say.

“How is my dear husband today?” I asked sarcastically.

“Very mature Onika. Are we gonna stay fighting or are you gonna just drop this attitude? It could be much simpler if you just stopped with this bullshit,” he looked at me.

“It would be simpler if you weren’t an asshole so I guess we’re both gonna suffer,” I snapped and went to My’s room.

“Mylan?” I knocked while opening the door. I found her playing her keyboard with her headphones on. I guess she heard me because she turned around. “You’re practicing?” I’ve never seen her practice because she never wanted anyone to. She said she wanted to make it perfect before anyone heard her.

“I was but I’m done.” She turned her keyboard off before sitting on her bed.

“How are you feeling?” I sat next to her.

“I feel fine honestly. I think you guys are overreacting just like he said. I just don’t want to be anywhere near him,” she shook her head.

“He’s your father Mylan you can’t avoid him forever,” I reminded her. I knew that she was scared but we all knew that Drake wouldn’t lay a hand on any of us.

“I don’t know who he is anymore,” she looked out the window and for the first time I couldn’t argue with her.

“I don’t either,” I sighed. I got up and went downstairs to cook. I wish I could just go and escape the house for a few hours and talk to one of my girls but I didn’t want to talk to any of them right now. I used to go to Nae for things like this but now she’s gone. That’s the hardest thing I had to accept. My best friend left and I’ll probably never see her again. “Where are you Nae?” I mumbled as I looked out my kitchen window.

“I’m going back to work unless you wanna say some bullshit about me not being here because I was here for the last two hours,” I heard Drake say.

“Whatever Drake,” I said softly.

“Nic,” he started but I shook my head.

“Go to work because that’s obviously where you need to be.” He looked at his watch and then looked at me. “Go.” I really just wanted to be alone.

“I tried,” he gave up and left.

“I tried. I really did try but I can’t anymore,” I mumbled as I stared down at my rings. How much more is it gonna take? I grabbed my phone and called Jessi.

“Hey Nic,” she answered.

“Can you come over?” I asked her.

“Of course Nicki. What’s going on?” She questioned.

“I just need you to pick me up something on the way,” I looked down at my stomach.

“What is it?” I bit my lip ashamed that I even have to do this.

“A pregnancy test,” I sighed.

Blake

“I can’t believe they’re mad because I’m hanging with Sage. What the fuck do I look like to them? I’m not twelve years old,” I huffed. Mere sat in front of me looking amused.

“I’m not gonna tell you what everyone else is telling you. That’ll just make you get more annoyed,” she shrugged.

“Thank you,” I sighed in relief.

“I’m just curious why you’re acting the way you are,” she eyed me.

“What way?”

“When you’re around the girls you’re all aggressive and defensive but when you’re with me it’s like you’re the same girl you were a year ago,” she scrunched up her eyebrows.

“I never really noticed that before,” I looked down at my food. Is it that drastic of a change to the point where it’s polar opposites? “I don’t know. You don’t bash Sage like everyone else even though you probably hate her more than everyone else.”

“You’re right I can’t stand her but I tend to put up with people I can’t stand for you,” she said randomly but her face changed when she realized what she said. I knew she didn’t mean to say it like that but it’s already been said.  “I didn’t mean it like that,” she quickly corrected herself.

“It’s fine Mere,” I assured her.

As if she couldn’t make it worse she had to ask this question. “So how are you feeling about Jaznae?” I looked over at her in shock. Mere never asked me about Nae because she never cared so why now?

“Why do you care?” I crossed my arms. Why is everyone bringing her up nowadays?

“It was a simple question Blakelynn,” she sighed. A simple question?

“Look no one knows where she is and I’m done looking. She doesn’t want to be found and I’m sick of repeating myself to everyone. She could be dead for all we know. Why would you even ask me that?” I still couldn’t believe that she would ask me that.

“Mylan is acting a lot like Jaznae was nine years ago,” she admitted. Wait, Mylan is acting like Nae was? Does that mean she’s on drugs?

“What do you mean by that?” I scrunched up my face.

“She’s in the first stage. She’s snapping at certain people, she’s isolating herself, and I know there has to be more to it,” she shook her head.

“How do you know that Nae used to do that?” I looked at her weird.

“I’ve had suicidal people in my family.” She looked like she didn’t want to remember that so I let it go.

“So you guys want to find Nae? I hope you know that's practically impossible since no one knows where she is. You aren't thinking about finding her right?” I questioned but I really didn’t care at this point.

“No I don’t think that’s necessary. How am I supposed to find her? Just like you said she could be dead for all we know,” she shook her head.

“Then who will help My?” I didn’t want her to end up hurting herself.

“I don’t know but we’ll figure something out,” she shrugged. I really hope Mylan isn’t going down the same path as Nae. That would just kill Nicki. I looked at Mere and she rolled her eyes. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Are we ever gonna talk ab-,” I started but she shook her head.

“Drop it,” she said slowly and I just nodded. I should’ve known she would do that.

“Whenever you do want to talk about it then you know where to find me,” I offered.

“Blakelynn,” she shot me a warning look.

“Alright,” I sighed.

Drake

“I mean Mere has snapped at me but never like that before. I’on even know if she’ll come near me again,” I put my head in my hands.

“You fucked up with Nicki, Mylan, and now Mere. We both know Mere don’t go off like that. She’ll yell but I don’t think she’s ever been like this. She’s going through a lot and now you are adding stress on her. She’s worried about her niece, we both know that,” he pointed out.

“Maybe I’ll stop by her house and see if she’ll talk to me,” I sighed. I got up and drove to her house. I knocked on her door and waited. A few seconds later the door flew open. Antonio was standing right in front of me. I couldn’t stand the guy but Mere loved him.

“Wassup?” He looked at me.

“Is Mere here?” I asked.

“Nah she went to see Nessa and Nadia,” he shrugged.

“When you see her can you tell her to call me?” I questioned and he nodded. I went home and was met with silence. I walked into the kitchen and saw Levi sitting at the table just staring at the wall. “What’s wrong buddy?” I asked. He looked at me and was silent for a minute.

“Nothing,” he huffed and focused his attention on the wall. I sat down next to him and eyed him.

“Levi,” I called out. He turned and gave me his attention. “Is this about the basketball?”

“You don’t play with me Daddy,” he pouted.

“I don’t always have time to play Levi. I have a job and things to do,” I reminded him.

 “I’m not special enough,” he looked down at his hands.

“Why would you think that?”

“You love job more than me,” he shrugged.

“That’s not true Levi. I have work I need to do right now but I can push that back for an hour,” I told him.

“You play with me?” His eyes brightened.

“Yes I’ll play with you,” I nodded.

“Yay!” He hopped up and hugged me.

“I love you Levi and don’t ever forget that,” I kissed his head.

“I love you too Daddy.”

 

Mere

I sat in the car for a minute lost in my thoughts. Aubrey is really fucking with my mind. I’ve never lost my cool like that around him. I just can’t deal with all of this right now. I heard the door open and then shut. I looked over and smiled small. “Hey Munchkin.”

“Why are you stuck in the car? You’ve been in here for like twenty minutes,” she pointed out.

“I didn’t even realize that I’ve been in here that long,” I sighed.

“What’s going on Mere?” She turned and looked at me.

“Drake is just fucking with my mind. He’s completely delusional and it’s like everyone expects me to be the therapist. Sometimes I need a break. Don’t people realize that I have my own problems?” I huffed out of frustration.

“I know you do and I’ve told you time and time again to take a break from all of that. You’re so busy taking care of everyone else but when are you gonna take care of yourself? The only person you need to be concerned about right now is you,” she told me.

“You’re right but,” I started but she shook her head.

“I don’t want to hear it. You need to focus on you and stop being a therapist for everyone. I’ll be your own therapist,” she joked. I let out a chuckled and a smile graced my face.

“Thanks for the laugh.”

“I’m serious when I’m telling you to focus on yourself. I hate when you hide behind your smile. You can fool everyone but me. I’m not letting you keep shit bottled up anymore,” she grabbed my hand.

“The same goes for you. I’ll always be here for you,” I smiled at her.

“You know that I’ll always be here for you too,” she leaned over and pulled me into a hug.

“I love you Munchkin,” I hugged her back.

“I love you too Cheeks,” she chuckled when I pushed her away.

“That fucking nickname,” I mumbled.

“You love it!” She grinned as we hopped out of my car. I playfully rolled my eyes with a smile on my face. She’s right about focusing on myself. I’ve been focusing on everyone else for far too long and it’s about time I take a break from that.

Mylan

“Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without you in it?” I asked Nyra as we laid on her bed.

“Yeah but I know that there’s a reason why I’m here,” she shrugged. I nodded and she looked at me in concern. “Don’t tell me you’re getting that feeling again. Mylan you told me that you stopped feeling like that,” she popped up.

“It was just a question Nyra,” I assured her.

“You can lie to anyone you want but I’m not gonna let you lie to me. We’re practically sisters My. Do you know how many people would be crushed if something happened to you? You have way too many people who want you to live,” she shook her head.

“See that’s what I’m sick of hearing. People are always like you shouldn’t die because people will miss you but what about me? Why does everything have to be about everyone else? Shouldn’t it be because I want to live?”

“Do you want to live?”

“That’s a damn good question,” I sighed. She moved and pulled me into her arms.

“I want you to live and I’m gonna help you in any way I can,” she promised.

Nicki

I sat by the window and just stared out of it. Everything is falling apart and I just can’t fix it like I used to. Mere is fed up with Drake, Mylan is, and honestly I am too. I just can’t believe that all of this is happening. He promised that he would do anything to keep me happy but I guess that was a lie. This whole last year has been pure hell because of him.

He’s not the same man that I married. I looked down at my rings and just stared. They’re meaningless by this point. It’s not like he would pay enough attention to me to realize if I took them off or not. I slid off my wedding ring and my promise ring. My finger didn’t even feel empty. I felt numb and nothing even mattered by this point.

“I got it,” Jessi walked into my bedroom. I turned and looked at her.

“Thanks,” I let out a sad smile.

“You already know that I would do anything for you Nic,” she brushed it off.

“Still, thank you for doing this.”

“You ready?” Jessi looked at me cautiously. I stood from my bed and took the bag out of her hands. She shot me a sympathetic look. “Good luck,” she said as I walked into the bathroom. I took the test and waited.

“I can’t be pregnant Jess. That’s gonna fuck everything up,” I shook my head. That was the last thing I needed at this point.

“Then let’s hope for the best,” she smiled small. “You took your rings off,” she looked down at my hand.

“I’m fed up Jess, I really am. It’s starting to stress me out and I’m still worried about Mylan.” She can lie to me all she wants but I know that something is wrong.

“I know you are and just keep a close eye on her. She might not wanna open up yet but you never know when she might break,” she rubbed my back. The timer on my phone went off and I felt my heartbeat speed up.

“Can you check it?” I didn’t wanna look at it. She nodded and got up to check it. She was in there for a minute and that made me nervous.

“Nic,” she turned and tears immediately rushed down my face.

“It’s positive isn’t it?” I asked softly. She let out a sigh and shook her head. I can’t deal with another kid right now. “This can’t happen.” I held my head in my hands as my tears fell faster.

“Nicki.” Jessi moved and sat next to me. “It’ll be okay.” She pulled me into her arms.

“How is it gonna be okay Jess? Drake is already the way he is and both of my kids feel neglected. I don’t want to add another kid into this right now. I can’t take it and neither can he.”

“You’re not thinking about abortion are you? You already know how that backfired on you years ago,” she gave me a knowing look.

“I can never kill my kid again after that. That’s traumatizing and I’ve barely forgiven myself for that,” I shook my head. I heard footsteps and felt like groaning. Drake walked into the room and looked at us. Jessi stood up and went to the bathroom to grab the bag.

“I’ll see you later Nic.” She hugged me and I guess she took the test with her which I was thankful for.

“What’s wrong with you?” He eyed me as he went through his briefcase.

“Nothing.”

“I’m sick of you acting like this. Can’t you just speak up for once?” He looked at me with a tired expression.

“Look there’s something I should probably tell you,” I started.

“What is it?”

“I’m pr,” I got cut off by the sound of his phone.

“Hello? No I told them to ship that out tomorrow,” he snapped on the phone. “Someone is getting fired tonight because I’m sick of the mistakes. Fire all three of them before I get there. I don’t like wasting my time so they better be gone.” He ended the call and put his briefcase together again.

“Aubrey I’m,” I got cut off again by him walking out of the room like I wasn’t even there. “Pregnant,” I sighed.



Yes you'll find out more about Daven and Jaymie deeper in the chapters. I promise by the end of this story that all of the unanswered questions will be answered.