Chapter 83: I Don’t Wanna Lose You

Nicki

I rushed into the hospital and saw Aubrey standing with Nyra and Levi. “What happened!?” I leave for a couple of hours and this is what happens?

“We found Mylan unconscious on the floor of her bedroom,” he said.

“What did you do to her?” I snapped.

“I didn’t do anything to her. Nyra came over and went to find her,” he said through clenched teeth. I knew he was hurt that I implied that he did something to cause this but the tables have turned. Glad that he could understand how I felt.

“Guys,” I heard Nyra say. We turned to her and saw Levi hugging her leg. “Fighting isn’t gonna help at all right now. It’s just gonna make things worse. She used to take random pills and I guess she got new ones. She dropped one at my house and I searched it online. It had something that she was allergic to and it triggered her asthma. I don’t think she knew it was in there,” she explained.

“So you knew she was taking pills and you didn’t stop her?” Drake looked down at her.

“If you haven’t noticed Mylan is seventeen years old. I’m only fourteen and no matter what I said or did, she didn’t listen. At least I paid attention to her and tried to help. If it wasn’t for me then we wouldn’t be here. She would still be on the floor of her bedroom,” she cut her eyes at him and walked outside to get some air with Levi right behind her.

“That was completely uncalled for,” I glared at him.

“She could’ve told someone and maybe it wouldn’t have gotten to this point.”

“She’s a child Drake! You can’t possibly be putting the blame on her!” I couldn’t believe him. How was he gonna blame a child?

“This could’ve all been prevented if she would’ve spoken up.”

“I really don’t wanna talk to you right now. I already lost one child. Do you think I wanna lose two?” I went to sit in a chair and tried to calm down.

Mere

“So how would you feel about coming back to New York?” I asked Nae as we ate breakfast. I just wanted to know how she was feeling about that. She dropped her fork on her plate and looked at me like I was crazy.

“Mere you already know the answer to that,” she shook her head. “I’m fine with staying in Texas for a long time.”

“It’s beyond that now. It’s Mylan that everyone is worried about. After everything Aubrey has done it started to affect her. Nicki said something and she’s right. When we look at Mylan all we see is you nine years ago,” I told her and her face immediately dropped.

“You think she’s..?” She trailed off but I shrugged.

“No one knows what she’s going through and you’re our only hope. You know what it feels like and she needs someone who can relate to her. You can just stop by Nicki’s house and only she has to know that you came. After that you can come back to Texas and never see anyone again,” I offered.

“Why do I have a feeling that a certain someone might see me?” She eyed me. Now that was something that could be a little tricky. I think I could play around her schedule. I should be able to figure out when she's not in New York.

“I’ll make sure Blake’s busy with something. Modeling has been taking up a lot of her time anyway so I’ll pick a day where she won’t be in town,” I promised.

“Alright I’ll do it. I’m only doing it for My and because I feel like I owe you for all you’ve done for me,” she gave me a sad smile.

“Nae how many times do I need to say to not thank me? I would do anything for you and you know that by now. I’m always gonna be here so sucks for you because now you’re stuck with me,” I joked.

“Still you’re the best Mere,” she smiled.

“I know,” I flipped my hair and she laughed.

“You’re still overly cocky though,” she scrunched up her face.

“I know you’re not talking. Do you remember two months ago?” I didn’t have to finish before she gave up. It’s always nice when I can come to Texas and spend time with her. “I’ve missed you Munchkin,” I told her.

“I’ve missed you too Cheeks,” I rolled my eyes playfully at her nickname for me.

“We are never telling anyone that story ever,” I gave her a look and she laughed before agreeing. No one needed to know why she called me that.

“I won’t have to run into what’s her face that girl you can’t stand?” She tried to remember her name.

“Sage,” I scrunched up my face.

“I remember when you would make that face at the sound of my name,” she laughed.

“That feels like so long ago,” I sighed.

“It does,” she smiled small.

“I really will try to make sure Blake doesn’t see you. Let’s just say she isn’t your biggest fan at the moment and she’s not really herself either.”

“What do you mean by not herself?” She looked at me questionably.

“Sage has really changed her. She parties, drinks, and smokes. She doesn’t act that way around me but she does around the other girls,” I shrugged. I could tell she was trying to fight what she wanted to say and I gave her a look.

“I’m not gonna say anything because you already know what I want to say,” she held her hands up in surrender. “Blake is just something else.” She tried to say in the nicest way.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t start?” I raised a brow. I didn’t need to hear her say this again because I’ll still never stop.

“I’m not gonna say anything because I’ve already told you time and time again to stop apologizing to that girl,” she gave me a knowing look.

“I’m a forgiving person and she makes me feel bad.” It’s not like I can help who I feel sorry for. She knows how to guilt me into things. She’s very manipulative which Nae has pointed out before.

“If I ever see her again I promise you that I am not holding my tongue,” she spoke in all serious and I knew that she wasn’t lying. I just didn’t need that happening because that’ll just start even more drama.

“You’re so annoying,” I chuckled.

“That’s why you love me,” she flipped her hair.

“Look who’s being cocky now,” I smirked. My phone rung and I saw Aubrey’s name flash on the screen. “Hello?” I answered.

“Mere,” I heard his voice crack.

“Aubrey what’s wrong?”

“Mylan is in the hospital. We found her unconscious in her bedroom. Nyra said it’s from some random pills she took,” he explained.

“Oh my god.” I looked at Nae and she shot me a confused look. “I’m gonna get a flight and be out there as soon as I can,” I promised him before we hung up.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Mylan took some random pills and now she’s in the hospital. I need to go to New York and I think it would be best if you come with me,” I pleaded. I knew it was risky with her popping up out of the blue trying to avoid Blake but it’s beyond her right now.

“You don’t even have to ask,” she hopped up. “Looks like I’m going back to New York.”

Drake

Nicki was crying while Cassie comforted her. I wanted to comfort her but I knew I was the last person she wanted to talk to right now. Everything was crashing down and I could only watch. All of her girls rushed in and went straight to Nicki. “You look broken,” Shad said as he came and sat next to me.

“I can’t lose her, not this way. I feel like this is all of my fault,” I placed my head in my hands. “I should’ve listened when everyone kept telling me that she was acting like Nae. I should’ve seen her heading in that direction. I just was so damn blind.” I wanted to punch myself for not noticing this. She’s my baby girl and I can’t lose her.

“Everything is gonna be fine,” he assured me.

“That’s something Mere would say.” I could use Mere right about now but she’s on a plane so I could only wait for her to arrive.

“Where is she? I would think she would be the first one here,” he looked around.

“She’s on a plane from Texas. She said she’ll be here as soon as she can,” I shrugged. Levi walked up to me and held his hands in the air. I picked him up and sat him in my lap.

“My gonna be okay?” He looked at me. He looked scared for my answer. This just brought me back  to when My had her asthma attack years ago and we were just waiting for answers.

“My is gonna be fine,” I kissed his head.

“Promise?” I couldn’t exactly promise him something I didn’t even know the answer to. I looked at Shad and he nodded.

“I promise.” I could only hope and pray that she’ll be fine. I looked over and saw Nyra still outside. “I’ll be back buddy,” I placed Levi on the chair before going outside.

“Where’s Auntie Mere?” I heard Levi ask Shad before the door closed. I walked and stood next to her.

“I wanna apologize for how I acted earlier,” I apologized. She is a kid and I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did to her.

“You’re fine. You were in an emotional state and it seems like everyone is. I didn’t speak up because she made me promise not to. She promised to not do anything stupid and I knew if I told someone then she would close me out like everyone else,” she admitted.

“I should’ve seen the signs,” I sighed.

“Don’t knock yourself too hard. It’s not that easy to see the signs. She had to have been willing to let you in,” she shrugged.

Nicki

“Are you gonna speak to him at all?” Jessi asked me. I looked over and saw Drake walk back in with Nyra. At least it seems like the asshole apologized to her. He had no right to snap at her the way he did. It was completely uncalled for especially in this setting.

“No,” I shook my head.

“Nic your daughter is back there fighting for her life. You should at least talk to him. You don’t know how he’s feeling,” Cassie told me.

“I honestly don’t care how he’s feeling. If he didn’t become this asshole then maybe we wouldn’t be here right now,” I shook my head. Before they could respond a doctor walked in.

“Family of Mylan Maraj-Graham?” He called out. Drake and I hopped to our feet and walked over. “Good news is that she’s alive. Rare people survive stuff like this. She was severely allergic to that pill and she could’ve died if she hadn’t gotten here when she did. Patients like her are known as miracles,” he said. As soon as he said that I looked towards Blake. She instantly tensed up and I knew that she remembered that exact sentence.

“Still don’t think she’s like Nae?” I snapped towards Drake. He let out a sigh before focusing on the doctor.

“So she’s gonna be alright?”

“Yes but we have to keep her under a 48 hour suicide watch,” he reminded us.

“Thank you, can we go back and see her?” I questioned.

“Of course,” he led us to her room. Mylan sat up in the bed staring at the wall. She looked completely drained.

“Hey sweetie.” I went next to her. She just sent me a weak smile. When she looked over and saw Drake standing there her smile immediately dropped.

“Hi baby girl,” he rubbed the back of his neck. She just ignored him and laid her head against the bed.

“How are you feeling?” I asked her as I ran my hand down her curls. She looked exhausted but she was alive and I was so thankful for that.

“I’m fine,” she whispered. “Can I talk to Nyra?”

“Yeah I’ll go get her,” I walked out and went into the waiting room. “She’s asking for you,” I told Nyra. She nodded and got up to see her. I looked and saw Blake standing up with Ciara.

“I’m glad Mylan’s okay. I need to get out of here but give her a kiss for me,” she smiled small.

“Bringing up too many memories?” I shot her a knowing look. It literally felt like nine years ago with everything that’s happened today.

“I’ll see you later Nic,” she ignored what I said and hugged me.

“Alright.” I felt someone staring at me so I turned and locked my eyes with Jessi. The look she was giving me made me confused. She nodded her head towards the door before walking out. I followed her out and she turned around.

“Why weren’t you here right away? Drake called to tell me about My and he said he had no idea where you were,” she crossed her arms.

“I don’t see why that matters. I’m here now aren’t I? I came here as soon as I could so don’t make me the bad parent here.” I felt like she was attacking me for no reason.

“Where were you?” She raised a brow.

“Jessica, stay out of it. I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“It’s none of my business but it should be your husband’s considering you’re still married,” she shrugged.

“Where do you think I was?” Was she trying to call me some type of whore?

“I don’t know where you were but I know you weren’t with any of the girls.”

“Drop it Jessi,” I sighed.

“I swear I wish Nae was here because,” she started but I cut her off.

“Because what?”

“Because she could help me talk some sense into you. Now I’m starting to think that you’re the delusional one.”

“I’m done with this conversation.” I walked back into the hospital annoyed. I don’t see how anything could be my fault.

 

 

Mylan

“Can you please go?” I asked my father. He was just standing there staring at me like I was a damn exhibit.

“Mylan,” he started but I cut him off.

“I said please,” I pleaded. Isn’t please supposed to work during situations like this? I can’t deal with him right now.

“Can we talk later?” He looked desperate but I honestly didn’t care. He set himself up for this one.

“Sure whatever,” I just wanted him gone. He nodded and walked out of the door. A few minutes later Nyra walked in and sat in the chair next to me. We were silent for a few minutes.

“Thanks,” I said.

“You know I got you My,” she grabbed my hand.

“You’re the best friend a girl could ask for,” I smiled small.

“You didn’t do this on purpose right?” She eyed me. I thought for a minute and shook my head.

“No I didn’t,” I lied. I’ve had those pills for months. Only recently did I decide to take some but she didn’t need to know that. She kept her eyes trained on me before nodding.

“Don’t do it again.”

Drake

I walked out and saw Nicki standing in the hallway. She looked up and stared at me. She looked like she had enough for today. “Um,” I didn’t really know what to say to her.

“Not now Aubrey,” she shook her head. At least she’s calling me Aubrey instead of Drake so that’s a good sign.

“I know we’re not on the best terms but I wanna figure out how to help Mylan,” I told her. We needed to put our kids first in this situation. She eyed me trying to see if I was being serious or not but this wasn’t the time to play. These past two days have opened my eyes and I can’t go back to being oblivious right now.

“I don’t know how that’s possible. She’s not really talking about what happened. Anything you ask her she’ll lie to you. I’ve already been through this with Nae and now I have to go through it with Mylan,” she sighed. She wiped the few tears that were running down her face and sucked it up. “I never wanted my daughter to turn out like this but maybe this shows me what I’ve always thought. I’m a horrible mother,” she cried.

“Nic that’s not true,” I shook my head.

“I should have done something, anything. I just didn’t know what to do,” she took deep breaths to calm down.

“You’re not a horrible mother Nicki. You’re an amazing mother. If anything I’m the horrible father and husband.” I knew that was true.

“I really don’t wanna get into this right now,” she stopped me before I could even begin.

“Did Nae ever tell someone how she truly felt?” I changed the subject.

“Not really. She told me a handful of times and she told Blake a handful of times. No one really knew what was going on inside of her mind. She was very secretive about stuff like that,” she shook her head.

“You think Nae would be the best person to talk to her?”

“As if we could ever find her,” she huffed.

“We need to figure out something. We could send her to a therapist,” I suggested.

“Yeah that might be a good idea. I just don’t know how comfortable she is talking to a stranger.”

“I promise I’ll figure out something,” I assured her.

“Alright,” she brushed me off. I walked away to called Mere. She should be in New York by now if she left on time.

“Hey I just landed. How’s Mylan?” She answered.

“Mylan is fine but she’s basically in the same situation Nae was nine years ago,” I informed her. She let out a long sigh and I heard a voice in the background. “Who’s that?” The voice sounded strangely familiar. She went silent for a minute before answering the question.

“It’s Nae,” she admitted.

“Wait it’s who?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“I have Nae here to talk to My,” she elaborated.

“Nae’s back?” I looked at my phone in shock.

“Nae’s back?” I turned and saw Nicki standing there with an unreadable expression on her face. That expression soon changed and she looked pissed. I automatically knew that this was about to start some shit between all of the girls especially Blake considering Mere is the one who knows. I didn’t even wanna be around when she finds out. My only question is why is she with Mere?



I took off the older stories on that particular blog. Believe it or not but I started writing those stories when I was in eighth grade years ago. I cringe at my writing back then. That's part of the reason why I rewrote some of the stories.